Monday, March 22, 2010

Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

To be or not to be…that is the big ?
With FAR’s sing song anthem of ‘be what you want to be’ ringing in his ears, Mr. President is now being faced with some serious personal reflections over the various fiascos that are threatening his short legacy. There is already talk of impeachment or forced resignations among the intelligentsia. Well, battles are won the hard way, and he intends to dig his heels and turn on deflection mode…
JenPa: A very good morning to you Sir! I am happy to report that the Jj Spirit fashion show extravaganza was a roaring success. The young ladies were truly strutting their stuff out there. Seychelles has really got talent. Your message went down well with the youth that had gathered in numbers to see those beauties…
Mr. President: Good work JP. We need to continue in that stride. Don’t forget to spread the word on the inner islands as well. We are starting to lose ground, especially on Praslin where our little lady in red is causing a lot of jealousy. Now that she is heading the women’s league, she wants one of the BMX X3 that the Sheik has brought in. She is already building several tourism projects for the extended family at Possession beach and she still wants more.
JenPa: Indeed Sir! There seems to be some sort of rivalry between the families close to you. The son has already laid his claim to fame with the saucy and raunchy nude soft porn pictures that were circulating on the internet. Plenty of gayness circulating around…
Mr. President: There is no family feud or sibling rivalry on my island of love. I have looked after them all pretty well. I have made them what they wanted to be JP. We are on the verge of giving Capricorn some new sophisticated wheels to cope with the juicy contract from Raffles.
JenPa: Sir, it was a good move to hold the ceremony for the young leaders of the defence forces right here at State House. We surely need to make the military a central part of our development. This is where Ton Albert was clever. He has walked some very tight ropes during his tenure and luckily you were around to keep the military together and focussed on protecting their C in C. And today, most of top brass are too busy with their own construction projects, flats, condos and other side businesses anyway.
Mr. President: Of course! They need to be rewarded for services duly rendered. We need them to watch over us, especially when we start with our punishing travel schedule. I do not want those upstarts to fire up with aspirations of occupying our house. We have the world cup in South Africa coming up in June and the Shanghai expo in mid year. We will have excellent opportunities to rub shoulders with world leaders and champion all our causes. I need to work for another accolade this year to add to my collection. We should have a team from SBC lined up.
JenPa: No need to go into the extra expenses Sir! With today’s U-Tube, broadcast yourself technology, we can only take Srdjana with her mini video cam. I am sure that she will also find a slot on CNN i-report to fit you in. By the way, we seem to have missed out on the Abu Dhabi media summit.
Mr. President: Yeah, I got wind of it on BBC and I am so mad at Khalifa! He did not even consider inviting us. That would be an ideal forum to spread our message about my Sea Level Rise Foundation and our Seychelles National Climate Change Strategy. The summit was very much about how the media can influence public opinion though. We have a tight lipped strategy on that as you know. ‘Bonzour Sesel’! Onezime has done a fine job with the new programs. Now the people will not be exposed to all this disorderly conduct of people power which seems to be happening daily around the world. From strikes to marches and demonstrations being beamed on BBC & CNN every morning is not very good medicine. This might give some of our people too many ideas. Just now the Air Seychelles crew will go on strike like British Airways!
JenPa: Yes, Sir. Total control is the ultimate goal. But despite having a firm hand on SBC TV & radio, Nation, People, People Plus, Isola Bella, State House newsletter and all the district pamphlets; it seems that STAR is doing a fine job at promoting the true values of free speech and the open exchange of ideas. This site is getting so many hits and I am worried it might engulf this whole nation in a fresh ‘Sesel Pou Seselwa’ wave.
Mr. President: Indeed JP. It seems that patriotism is at its lowest ebb in the country. At the last game of football our national team played to a half-empty Stad Linite. There are twice as many supporters when there is a local Saints derby match. And you know very well who the two camps support! No more Red Star to fly our banner…
JenPa: I totally agree Sir. We are being bombarded left, right, centre and posterior. It is so difficult to focus as we are being sorely exposed. Your team of incompetent ministers are already becoming a liability. Even Chow is assailing you with a series of ‘open letters’ about the La Misère fiasco and your stranglehold on SBC to try and add further embarrassment.
Mr. President: Can you believe it? He wants me to fire Joel! But I cannot afford this as he is my most devoted apostle and I need to keep my options open for a revamped Jj ticket at the next polls. I am under pressure to get Fernando to do an investigation on this fiasco. I know the outcome will be damning for my administration. But we cannot drop a bomb on ‘Superman’. Kom dir Kreol, ‘ziz bos plat mon dallon’! Let’s weather the storm.
JenPa: OK Sir! Let’s get moving with some visionary decisions. We need to live up to the promises we made last year and add more weight to really justify some of our travelling forays. We need to get Air Seychelles to follow in your pioneering footsteps and start the flights to Beirut, Seoul and Shanghai. At least this will get Chow off your case as he is the local consul for South Korea.
Mr. President: Brilliant thinking JP. Since you are on the airline board, give some instructions to the little captain will you. We need to open up to the world.
JenPa is in a buoyant mood! He just loves this high flying (mile high club) job! It is indeed flying by the seat of your pants! To be or not to be… that is the question that only his beloved boss has the answer…Up in the air!


Anonymous said...

The list of SPPF misdeeds seems to be unless .Would SPPF ever have the moral dicipline to alter their way and come clean?


Anonymous said...

Put it another way:

Does James Michel have the balls to take out the vacuum cleaner and do a thorough spring-clean or would that be the beginning of his end?

The first to go against him would be Rene himself followed by his wife and the rest of the pack. The second would be the army itself followed by the rest of the civil servants, not to mention police and others who are corrupt to the bone. Oh yes, I forgot Ramadoss, Siva, Khalifa etc, etc.

It's a bit like diggin your own grave and having to kneel in front of it before taking the bullet.

Patrick X

Anonymous said...

Reply to Patrick X-

If Michel cleaned up Patrick, he would earn our respect for correcting a historical wrong, even if he played a part in it.

Michel would earn his place in history of Seychelles for being truly brave and courageous.

At this point,he is neither brave or courageous. The gates of failure are closing in on him.

Michel is running out of time.

Christopher Gill

Anonymous said...

I agree and wish he'd commit political suicide bt cleaning up. Then again, i wish Ramkalawan would do the same by letting the cat out of the bag and saving SNP.

It's always a case of 'it has to be done, but I don't want to do it'

Patrick X

Anonymous said...

It's hard to picture Michel making a 360 degrees turn. He doesn't have the temerity .He fears of detraying his grand Master Rene.

For SPPF fanatics to the likes of TIKLO and Co.this would inquate treason.
Quite a delima for JJ.


Anonymous said...


Notre trés mal mené et mal aimé président "JAM" égal à (J'aime Arabes Millions) continu à ignorer
les appels de La population, à faire la toute lumière sur cette affaire grostesque qui est "Arabes à la Misère qui font chier dans nos riviéres".

Sa réaction sur le subjet récemment fut comme un coup-de-poignard dans le dos dans la communauté.

Cela on éveillé des soupçons que notre cher président a pendant des années s'est fait engraisser par les pétrole-dollars de cheiks au détriment de sa proper Nation.

Cette une opinion qui est désormais largement partagé même chez les protagonists de SPPF dans l'appareil de l'Etat.

Michel semble être dans une bulle d'obscurité totale,ignorant les souffrance subie par se concitoyens.Ses yeux sont rivés sur les Arabs.Son slogan "communism,Arabes ou la mort".

Le vieux ,a tout essayé et tout échouè,alors il passe au extrême.Depuis peu,"LE RACISM" est à la une de leur stratégie malsaine.Dévenu l'outil de propagande et de division avec le but déjouer la vraie problématique de l'affaire,c'est-à-dire ,la légitimité légal de tous ces projets illicite en cour sur notre sol.

Potter ,la mémère du Parti et communiste convaincue ,s'est fait voir partout à ce moment,en train de semer cette graine de la haine et de division.Mais le terrain est dévenu infertile par de telles absurdités.Rien n'y pousse!

C'est dégoùtant votre propos, POTTER!
ça le goùt de la merde de même qu'à la Misère.

Et chienne!N'oubliyer pas "Sesel pou Seselwa pas au chameaux Arabes.

Jeanne D'arc

Anonymous said...

Reply To Troukler-

I sincerely, appreciate your esteem comments and input.

Michel of course, is sitting between a rock and a hard place.

He must reflect, what would his master do in the same position and he Michel, was in his masters shoes?

The answer is simple enough. The reality difficult enough for Michel to accept.

Meanwhile, time ticks, ticks, ticks,until the clock clicks once and then, in a moment, less then a second of time in the life of a man, any man, the bell rings, Michel is out!

At that point Troukler my friend, it is over, all the contemplation, all the pressures for the big decision of who to serve for Michel, his master, his Sheik Khalifa, or his people......all of them!

Tick Tock!

Anonymous said...

Michel is a FAILURE. SPPF is a FAILURE. Rene is a FAILURE. Everything these idiots touch turns to SHIT. No Midas touch here.

Has anyone seen the Nation (Statehouse Propaganda Newspaper) today? Now we have Nisa (National Information Services Agency). Another agency created with a CEO so that Michel will have another propaganda division to do his work for him. And did Michel not say last year that he was downsizing Government? Every week a new Agency is created and Michel puts his cronies on a newly created board so that he can control these little red robots. Then he tells us that he is empowering the people. What about all these people who lost their jobs when you fired them you son of a bitch? Have you empowered them? Have you helped them get a new job? No, I guess welfare is better for them so that they can lose their dignity and then run to SPPF to get a pitiful welfare check at the end of the month because they cannot find a job. Pathetic bastard you are Michel and you will rot in hell not only for the murders you planned and executed for Rene (the butcher as Francis Gill calls him), but also for planning the destruction of your fellow countrymen. You are a useless piece of Arab cock-sucking Kalifa shit!

Back to the Nation. We have Colonel Rosette who gave the pirates food and water and then set them free. Jesus you idiots! Where do you think they are going to go if not back to Somali to re-arm themselves and then come back to hijack another vessel or terrorize our own fishermen? And did anybody ask them what exactly they were doing behind Silhouette? Sorry Colonel, this is Seychelles territory. When you see terrorists in our waters, shoot these mother fuckers and send them to get their 72 virgins in hell. Keep one alive and send him back to Somail so that he can tell his fucked-up brothers what we did with his compatriots. See how long it takes for them to come back. And what if there had been Al Queda terrorists on board trying to sneak into Seychelles? Maybe next time Michel can take them in, give them Seychellois citizenship so that they can vote for him in the next election! You could probably teach them to say Ale Sesel as they chew on their Qat and pray in Sheik Kalifa's mosque.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we the country of Seychelles have become the laughing stock of the Indian Ocean. Our neighbours in Mauritius, Reunion and Madagascar are making jokes at our expense and rolling on the floor with laughter. The English make fun of the Irish and I reckon that we are now the Ireland of the Indian Ocean.

A MAD SEYCHELLOIS M.F. - Fuck the Somalians and fuck the Arabs.

Anonymous said...

THE MEN who constitute the board of Directors are expected to make wise dicissions affecting the economy as a whole.Consequently they are expected to possess the Know-how in and understand the fundamental of economy.

Yet,when you have some pseudo-economists to the likes of FAURE,AFIF and Co. at the helm of the institution without the slight foggies of ideas of how modern economy function then you're bound to end up in an economic crise.

A given economic is the end results of a process that involves ,social organization,technological evolution as well as geography,natural endowment and ecology as main factors.These factors give context,content and set the parameters in which an economy functions.

To the contary,SPPF has opted for the so called"OFF THE BOOKS" or informal economy whereby the economic activities are not taxed or monitored by the institution.This in essence,makes it necessarily difficult to observe,measure and control, thus makes it difficult to determine the real state of the country economic position.

Such a "laissez-faire" economic policy can't be tolerated any longer.It's distructive and impede all economic development of he contry.
It must be reversed now else we'll experience the same faith as Zimbabwe of Mugabe.


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