Thursday, November 24, 2011



President Michel has flown to Abu Dhabi (his second home) to inaugurate the first diplomatic mission and tourist office in the United Arab Emirates. He is accompanied by Jean-Paul Adam the Minister of Foreign Affairs, Alain St. Ange CEO of Seychelles Tourist Board and of course an entourage of bodyguards.

President Michel                                    Jean-Paul Adam                                      Alain St. Ange

Good old faithful Ambassador Dick Esparon awaits the delegation in his plush, rent-free furnished office, courtesy of the Ruler of Abu Dhabi, Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, also known as the new Ruler of Seychelles, the Ruler of the Kingdom of La Misere on Mahe, the Ruler of the Seychelles Coast Guards, the Ruler of the Seychelles Desalination Plants and Electricity Grid, the Ruler of the Radiology Centre and ex-Victoria Hospital (now called Seychelles Hospital to please the good Sheikh), the Ruler of Victoria Urban Planning Development and of course the Ruler of our Immigration Department (by decree to remove our Coco-de-Mer stamp from the Seychelles Passport as he found it offensive).

Sheikh Khalifa - Ruler of Abu Dhabi and the Seychelles / The offensive Coco-de-Mer Seed

In 2012, wind turbines donated by our Ruler Sheikh will be churning wind into electricity right at the entrance of Port Victoria.  We wonder who will pay for the maintenance of those Masdars Don Quixote windmills?  And what a wonderful aesthetic sight this will be for our tourists on their way to visiting a once pristine marine park.  Eyesore galore! But who cares about our beautiful Victoria Harbour, as it will soon change its name to "The Khalifa Harbour"?  Lest we forget, the urban planners in Abu Dhabi are working diligently to develop a new design for our small capital Victoria, courtesy of the generous Sheikh. Will it still be called Victoria?  Who knows?  But what we do know is that a new mosque to house thousands of Islam followers is already on the plan, and the huge speakers to be installed in the minaret will be bigger than our clock tower so that the sound can dwarf our Catholic church bells.  But this good-hearted Sheikh not only lords over us and our sycophant President, but he loves our country so much that he is now making it his own.  Joe Samy's "Victoria, la klos St. Fidel" will soon be history, along with any remnants of the British Empire to make way for our new Arab Ruler.

Wind turbines for Victoria Harbour. Bye Bye Old "Far" Lighthouse

Hopefully, during South-East monsoon, the wind turbines will blow the foul tuna-canning factory smell towards the new Sheikh Khalifa Coast Guard Centre, and we hope this does not disturb the Imam in the minaret and the prayers at the new Coast Guard mosque and canteen which can no longer serve pork.  During North-West monsoon, we hope that the turbines will blow the smell away from the Providence rubbish dump site up towards the hills of La Misere where the chic Sheikh has build his castle. After all, the Sheikh caused the "Delo Kaka" incident while he was building the monstrosity on top of La Misere whilst breaking all the Housing and Planning regulations, so maybe he can get a "taste" or at least a smell of his own medicine in the coming years. Revenge is sweet.

Sheikh Khalifa's Castle on top of La Misere, Mahe, Seychelles - Our landscape ruined forever

Meanwhile, back in Victoria Seychelles, Barclays Bank has announced restrictions on foreign exchange and as Joel Morgan the Minister of Lapire told us last week during his shady Air Seychelles fiasco interview, foreign exchange is becoming scarce as Air Seychelles was draining the country's coffers. A bunch of lies as usual, but I guess one can forgive the Pinnochio Minister as it is his usual style to lie to the people and place blame elsewhere. His nose is now longer than the Sheikh's robe.

One wonders how much foreign exchange President Michel and entourage took with them to Abu Dhabi?  Or is the generous Sheikh Khalifa footing the bill? I also wonder if the first class tickets on Etihad were free, or if they were paid for by the Seychellois taxpayers.

In summary, I quote a blogger who recently posted this comment on our STAR Seychelles site:

"All this is a sad joke.
Our land all going to arabs.
Our economy depends on arabs.
Our airline has gone to arabs.
Our defence depends on arabs.
Our jobs depend on arabs.
What next????
More coming.
And some people take offence when we say that James Michel is taking us for monkeys?"

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

More Seychelles Jokes

READ, LAUGH AND THEN WEEP (then pray for our country).

Assembly appoints Waven William as an ambassador! God help Seychelles.

Wavem William - Red shirt and all

Etihad, Emirates and Qatar step in to recruit staff from Air Seychelles

Etihad, Emirates and Qatar step in to recruit staff from Air Seychelles

Etihad, Emirates and Qatar to hold a job fair for Air Seychelles staff. That's right, our loyal staff will now have to leave their families behind and move to Abu Dhabi, Doha and Dubai to live and earn a living. Thank you James Michel, Joel Morgan and David Savy.

The three Moustached Musketeers - Hard at work bankrupting our national airline and lying to the people.

And finally, Electoral Commission invites reform proposals.

Hear hear....The Electoral Commission yesterday said it is inviting "all stakeholders to submit their proposals for electoral reforms in writing".

Hendrick Gappy - Electoral Commissioner appointed by Michel his Master.


Yeah yeah yeah.... A few months too late don't you think, given that the Presidential and Legislative Assembly elections are now over.

Gappy, you are as corrupt as your master James Michel.  The lack of democratic and electoral reforms in Seychelles is due to your colluding with Michel and Party Lepep. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Joke going around Victoria Seychelles



Last Saturday afternoon in Victoria, an aide to President James Michel visited a priest at the Catholic cathedral.  She told the Bishop that the President would be attending the next day's Mass, and she asked if the priest would kindly point him out to the congregation and say a few good words that would include calling James a saint.

The Priest replied, "No. I don't really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of his views. Plus, he took part in the violent Coup D'etat that killed people, including the brother of an Anglican priest. He also tried very hard to destroy the church and also got rid of all the nuns at Regina Mundi convent and the Brothers of Christian Instruction at the Seychelles College. This president is an atheist and only pretends to be a Catholic."

James' aide then said, "Look, I will write a cheque here and now for a donation of SR500,000 to the church if you'll just tell the congregation you see President Michel as a saint."

The good priest thought about it and said, "Well, the Church can definitely use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As the aide promised, President Michel appeared for the Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward left side of the centre aisle, along with soon to be wife number three and a few red-eyed, tequila-smelling ministers in tow.
As the Bishop promised, at the start of his sermon he pointed out that Mr. Michel was present.  The Bishop went on to explain to the congregation: 

"While President Michel's presence is probably an honour to some, the man is not numbered among my personal favourite personages. Some of his most egregious views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and he tends to flip-flop on many other issues. He is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb-sucker, and a nit-wit. He is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, President Michel is the worst example of a Christian I have ever personally witnessed. He is corrupt and has used State money to lie to the people just to remain in power. He also has a reputation for liking Muslims over his own Seychellois kind and shirking his representative obligations. He does not believe in justice and is more corrupt than Rene and Mukesh put together. The man is simply not to be trusted and I believe he might be a converted Muslim based on the number of visits to Abu Dhabi lately."

The Bishop concluded, ”But, compared to Joel Morgan, the man is definitely a Saint."  

The aide, Michel, Bastienne and Morgan all fainted!  L'eau de carme anyone?

Monday, November 21, 2011

The Seychelles Column - By Christopher Gill

Communists In A Panic Over Piracy Threat

Somali Pirates

One moment we do not negotiate with pirates, than the next moment, the President James Michel says we will negotiate. Soon after, Joel Morgan, Minister of Homeland Security ( a title that is overpowering for the under accomplished chap), says that we will not negotiate with pirates, but we are talking with them.

The Smart Negotiators aka Pirate Experts

Immediately, after that statement was made Minister Morgan then made another announcement this week, saying that he is importing Gurhkas to man ships for Seychelles. He says that it will be a costly effort and he will ask stakeholders to contribute to the effort. How cute. His words, sounded like a Boy Scout leader telling the troops that the Boy Scouts will provide basics but you must see to it that your Mommy packs your lunch. After listening to Minister Morgan, I was deflated beyond explanation. Here is why.

Ghurkas in Seychelles to fight pirates

UK Prime Minister Smells Blood at Commonwealth Conference
As James Michel went begging for a few more boats, a few more planes a few more bullets and so forth under the guise of being a helpless small island state leader, at the Commonwealth Leaders Conference, the UK Prime Minister, smelled the opportunity the piracy menace in the Gulf of Aden was creating by Seychelles sleeping on the job in terms of thinking laterally on the matter. The UK is outfitting men trained in security, to place on ships going through the Gulf of Aden under private security arrangements. This creates a new industry, and shifts the insurance burden for ransoms to the private security firms, not the government.

Over 100,000 ships run through the Gulf each month. At $1,000.00 per day, per security personnel, this means big bucks are being made in our waters and PL has been asleep over the matter. For years I have written on the matter, but now, with the attacks in Lamu, Kenya recently and others, the matter is not an issue merely  income generation or cost cutting to outfit our own companies with our own people, to earn money. The pirates now are attacking land beach positions and taking tourists from their rooms. With such bold aggression before us, we must outfit our own people to stand a chance against these pirates.

More Mercenaries Not The Answer
Minister Morgan is looking to Gurhkas again to solve his problems. We all know the results of the use of Gurhkas at our prison at Anse Royale. This is a knee jerk strategy thought out by  a half wit at best.

Seychellois that ply the seas, need to be trained to defend themselves . What should have been done is Morgan take immediate steps implement a program to train our fishermen and merchant navies, to use weapons, check them out, check them in, and give them the dignity of standing up for themselves in the face of a piracy scourge that will only get worse for the next 15 years. How many Gurhkas does Minister Morgan intend on bringing to Seychelles?

Ironically, the Minister told us that the Gurhkas will not be here until the end of the year. It sounds like as of yesterday, literally, he did not even know their names yet.

The same Delo Kaka Morgan.

We can expect more hostage taking with a Minister openly thinking on SBC like that. It is a shame that SBC loads these interviews on the internet for the pirates to watch. James Michel should call on Morgan to submit his resignation before the next hostage taking takes place.  

Incidentally, under Minister Morgan, we have nearly 800 theft or criminal incident reports per month, for a population of 83,000. Crime has doubled from past years. In Mauritius, a country with a population of 1.2 million , has 1,200 reports of incidents per month.
The only person who thinks Minister Morgan is doing a brilliant job, is probably Minister Morgan himself. He has had to place security surveillance cameras all around his house, as a consequence of what he seems to believe….of his successful tenure at Homeland Security.

May God Bless All Freedom Loving Seychellois!