Saturday, November 14, 2009

Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

Start, Abu Dhabi, 2009

State House Anytime Now (SHAN) - Grand Prix Dreaming in Abu Dhabi - very far away from Seychelles.

Mr. Seychelles President is in his office dreaming about the recent Formula One Grand Prix in Abu Dhabi. It was a great racing day, $55,000 per ticket, seated next to one of the most powerful men in the region and Ferrari race cars zooming through the complex. The smell of high octane fuel came back to his mind, and then his thoughts of the fantastic weekend in Abu Dhabi came to an abrupt end with a knock on the door….

Jenpa: “Good morning Mr. President. I hope that you are well rested after your Yas Marina Grand Prix vacation in Abu Dhabi”.

Mr. President: Yes JP, that was five-star treatment at its best and I am still dreaming about the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

JP, this was the Grand Prix of all Grand Prix! It was fantastic...scholastic.... incredible. I sat down next to the richest people in the world. We had cakes, pastries, dates, tea, caviar, champagne but no pork sausages. I felt like a success. Everyone wore Rolex Presidential or Diamond Rolexes under their sheets and gowns. I wore mine too and placed the Casio watch in my luggage for use when I got back home to visit some poor suffering Seychellois living off half the money he lived off last year, and paying twice the price for everything in the shops.

No one called me that naughty word “Communist”. No one called me a “Traitor” or an “Albert Rene lackey”. No one asked me if I had bankrupted my country. Most of them thought I was rich, free of baggage like them all. I told them I had an oil quadrant for sale. Impressive, indeed it was JP. One man walked up to me and asked me if I would finance a new Grand Prix racing team, since Honda and Toyota have pulled out. I was so shocked that I was in the middle of such a group that I did not know what to say.

Jenpa: Well, you could have said, “No, not today Speed Racer. My country is currently bankrupt and under pirate attack, but I can give you an option on an oil drilling quadrant in the deep ocean worth hundreds of million of dollars. What do you think?”

Mr. President: Yes I could also say, no, I only finance wind mills that are funded from your highnesses consolidated fund. Or I could say no, I am waiting for my meal ticket from IMF in order that I can keep on travelling. For you see, I cannot afford to be here, my people are broke, they are suffering, they use one tin can of tuna fish for a dinner of 6 people, and mix it up with a little papaya on the side that nature provides, and they use one match to light a wood fire as they cannot afford gas or electricity any more. Last year, I created a law to supplement their income and clean up the environment by actually making them collect pet plastic bottles. Now people fight for these bottles and rummage through rubbish bins in town to make ends meet.

I am here on invitation my friend, 5-star hotel and meals all paid for.

Jenpa: But Mr. President, that would be too honest.

Mr. President: Yes JP, I should have been honest with this man now that I think about it. But I am not sure if I have a conscience any more.

Jenpa: Why Mr. President, what did you really say to the man Sir?

Mr. President: Well, I did not want to embarrass myself JP. So I said “Yes, of course, I will buy a racing team”. I immediately thought about where I would get the money from. I turned to the other side and offered Curieuse Island to his Highness the Sheikh and he nodded his approval. I used the island next to Praslin to pay for my escapades and fantasy. It worked JP! I got millions of dollars in just a few seconds. And I asked that the racing car has Seychelles printed on its side.

Jenpa: Sir, you sold Curieuse? What about the Marine Park? What about the giant tortoises and the Coco-De-Mer trees? What about the Doctor’s House?

Mr. President: Ah JP, stop with the questions. After all, there are plenty of tortoises on Aldabra and I can always create another marine park. But I sure sold the island and the Sheik grabbed it quickly since there are very few islands left for us to sell. Just like I sold most of St. Anne to little Francis Savy for one rupee and the ex-Tracking Station La Misere property to the UAE ruler for another rupee. I make deals JP. I do not sit idle. At that moment, I felt rich, I felt like one of those big success stories that surrounded me at the Grand Prix. It was great. No more IMF, no more World Bank, no more Jean Francois Ferrari, no more Gill calling for Truth, Accountability, Reality, no Ramkalawan calling for change now; no Volcere calling my girlfriend and trying to steal my squeeze, no Mancham asking questions about the past, the future and what we still owe him, and will never finish paying, since we just want him and his family to suffer as long as they live.

I felt rich making that deal JP, and I wish the people could feel how I felt at that moment. I wish I had brought SBC and that Tou-Tou Onezime along this time. It would have been really something to share with all the people, especially the JJ Spirit Team.

Jenpa: Sir, but you sold another one of our islands? How could you?

Mr. President: JP, if you ask me that question again, I will make your cousin David Savy reroute to Bangkok again, and sell your little butt down at Pat Pong for a few Bhat. That will make me feel rich again, so don’t push me wonder-boy. Why don’t you go see the American drone maintenance crew and call SBC with you? Take some pictures, make it look like we are fighting piracy and everything is under control for the British press. You could ask him if we could paint the Seychelles flag and name on the drone. That would be publicity JP, and make me feel really rich beyond my wildest dreams!

Jenpa: Yes Sir, of course. (JP exits, depressed and dejected that he has lost another island and have to defend the sale in public and on Facebook… all the while he is trying to figure out where he left his Rayban sunglasses and his 4 inch concealed sole shoes…Oh God, just wait ‘til Regar and Weekly get hold of that story… I am going to be crucified! I need a vacation badly..).

Curieuse Island: Curieuse

Bye bye Curieuse Island

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

If James Michel sells Curieuse to Arabs then it is time for the Seychellois people to rebel against this. La Misere hill was a wrong idea and if Michel believes he can get away with selling state land to his Arab friends, then he has another thing coming. At least Albert acquired land to give to Seychellois to build houses, but giving away land to Arabs for nothing is not in the interest of Seychelles. We should be selling land to them for high premiums so that we can use the money to pay down our debts.

Anonymous said...

If Jam keeps this up even Barbaron where Rene lives will be sold for Scr.1.00 to some sheik.

Keep it up James. "Sales Man James"
SMJ use SMS to increase your sales.

Anonymous said...

This article is so idiculously funny (and sad) that I will not be surprised if Michel and his poor excuse of a Michael Phelps wanna be, really do talk like this...haha...great political humour..

BTW, what has Adam done to deserve his post? Oh yeah, he was born...haha...what a joke of a Sec . of State. Brilliant! George Lucas could never ever have come up with such a story. This beats Star Wars. I bet all the senior and real statesmen from the foreign affairs are really happy that they got tossed aside...for MR. Secretaty of State Adam...what a joke!! and an insult to Seychelles!

Anonymous said...

Hi there every оne, hеre eveгy one is ѕharing thеse famіliaгity, so іt's good to read this blog, and I used to pay a visit this blog every day.
Also visit my page : http://colnotion.com/index.php?do=/blog/13972/are-you-significant-about-eradicating-human-Body-hair

Anonymous said...

Great artіcle! Thаt is the kind of infoгmаtіon that aгe ѕuppοsed to bе ѕharеd
aгοund the іnternet. Shame on the ѕearсh еngіnes
foг no longеr poѕitioning thiѕ ρublish uppeг!
Cοme on over аnd talk oveг ωіth my wеbsite
. Тhanks =)

My ωеb sіtе more helpful hints

Anonymous said...

I'm extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it'ѕ rare
to see a grеat blog liκe thiѕ one thеse dауs.



Herе iѕ my ωеbpage :: http://chat.shekhawatiuniversity.com/

Anonymous said...

Another great entry, great οne ecigarеtte retаiler

Feel free to viѕіt my webpage green smoke

Anonymous said...

I thіnκ what you posted wаs aсtually
very logical. But, сonsidеr this, suppοse уou adԁed
a little content? I mean, I don't wish to tell you how to run your website, however what if you added a post title that grabbed people's attеntiοn?
Ι mеan "Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now" is kinda vanillа.
You might look at Yahoo's front page and watch how they create news titles to get people to click. You might add a video or a pic or two to grab readers excited about everything've written.
In my opіnion, it might mаke your website а
little livеlieг.

Look at my web site; V2 Cigs

Anonymous said...

Hey there I am so grateful I found your blog, I really
found you by accident, while I was looking on Bing for something else, Anyhow I
am here now and would just like to say many thanks for a remarkable
post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I
don�t have time to browse it all at the moment but I have book-marked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I
will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the fantastic b.


Also visit my homepage ... singles chat rooms

Anonymous said...

hi!,I like your writing very much! share we communicate more about your article on AOL?
I need an expert on this area to solve my problem.
Maybe that's you! Looking forward to see you.

Here is my web blog; adult finder

Anonymous said...

I�ve recently started a site, the info you offer on this web
site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all
of your time & work.

Here is my homepage :: free adult personals

Anonymous said...

Excellent read, I just passed this onto a colleague
who was doing a little research on that. And he actually bought me
lunch as I found it for him smile Thus let me rephrase that: Thanks for
lunch!

My blog - skype sex

Anonymous said...

With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?
My site has a lot of unique content I've either written myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know any solutions to help prevent content from being stolen? I'd really appreciate it.


my web page ... computer system network security

Anonymous said...

Hey there, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues.
When I look at your blog in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer,
it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick
heads up! Other then that, amazing blog!

http://anepowa.com/newsite/?topic=buying-twitter-followers-3-which-is-where-to-be
http://animalmundimodapet.com.br/recommendations-which-will-help-you-reach-your-goals-social-media-marketing
http://amherstblock.com/index.php?do=/blog/73516/social-media-services-suitable-for-web-business-hype/
http://applescore.org/groups/how-to-buy-real-active-twitter-followers-on-corporate-contact/
http://amanjohn.com/forums/topic/great-means-to-share-new-iphone4-snaps-equipped-with-twitter-approaches/

My web page christmas island pacific

Anonymous said...

Hello, I enjoy reading all of your post. I like to
write a little comment to support you.
synonyms
synonyms
synonyms
synonyms
synonyms
http://193.77.186.91/site-xyz/forum/phpBB2/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=7024
http://08.com.vn/index.php?do=/profile-11049/info/
http://217.39.141.43/phpbb/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=34845
http://12.133.21.141/groups/voodootikilounge/wiki/f499b/A_Guide_To_Simple_Considerations_With_regard_to_how_to_get_free_active_twitter_followers_.

html
http://1dividend.com/?q=node/20034

Feel free to visit my site :: synonyms

Anonymous said...

My relatives always say that I am killing my time here
at net, except I know I am getting familiarity everyday
by reading thes nice content.

soundboard addendum accutane
storylines jaeger
https://osl.ucd.ie/content/identifying-no-hassle-mysteries-here-buy-twitter-followers-cheap
http://nycfitnesscoaches.com/content/singling-out-tips-part-social-media-services-and-marketing
http://my-chelyabinsk.ru/blogs/content/38192
http://data.montpellier-agglo.fr/?q=node/81883
http://www.hongshih.com/en/blog/stevennickelypseu/29052013/quick-software-applications-created-social-media-services-and-market
betfair
lofte longblobs feedthrough category

Here is my homepage ... goonies

Anonymous said...

Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all folks you actually understand what you're talking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly also consult with my site =). We may have a link trade arrangement among us

metreon united states history preparing for the advanced placement examination triology sext loghtning
http://kerdst.kerbabel.net/?q=node/162036
http://www.barknetwork.com/user/247704/profile
http://www.cidadememoria.arq.br/content/no-hassle-strategies-suitable-how-buy-real-followers-twitter-1-whats-important
http://www.pleasantonmiddleschool.org/node/16131
http://jordan.ish6a.com/jordan/index.php?q=node/51531
south africa airlines algeria newspaper silverleaf luvs latsavong

My blog somalia kismayo

Anonymous said...

This plainly signifies that relationship speeds are insufficient with
this protocol. Sprint Dyno can evaluate your car's gas financial state and horsepower.

Look at my webpage :: obdii scanner

Anonymous said...

Its like you read my mind! You appear to grasp a lot approximately this, like you wrote the e-book in
it or something. I believe that you could do with some p.
c. to force the message home a bit, but instead of
that, this is excellent blog. A fantastic read. I'll certainly be back.

http://iqgorod.ru/node/189973
http://sosalapitvany.hu/stephainenemuxxzbp/swiftly-secrets-and-techniques-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers-shown
http://www.leedssevens.co.uk/?q=node/1023
http://www.vestirna-zdarma.cz/node/49459
http://www.humanics.us/node/87563
http://www.linked2media.eu/?q=node/15678
http://www.jessicaskids.com/?q=node/305270
http://www.irtcalendar.com/node/432416
http://www.detroitentrepreneur.com/node/53688
http://www.dirtcheapcopies.com/node/5400

Stop by my site highest

Anonymous said...

I couldn't refrain from commenting. Very well written!

http://schenkst-du-mir.de/content/info-purposeful-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers-systems
http://jordan.ish6a.com/jordan/index.php?q=node/58373
http://thecase.org/forum/30/how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers-new
http://www.taxattorneytaxrelief.com/content/what-it-really-convenient-plans-through-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers
http://www.thelearning.org/lowdown-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers-operating-systems
http://conexoes.futuro.usp.br/?q=node/164716
http://lasikorlasek.com/determining-baby-gender-fast-equipment-when-considering-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers
http://www.mscentre.org/node/125232
http://dukeaward.ca/?q=node/501212
http://hsmusa.com/node/720690

Anonymous said...

Excellent blog here! Also your web site loads up fast!
What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
I wish my site loaded up as fast as yours lol

http://dukeaward.ca/?q=node/501212
http://staging.whereisomar.com/node/64776
http://thingsgrandpasaid.com/?q=content/pain-free-strategies-involving-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers
http://www.communitychristianschool.org/events/looking-versatile-techniques-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers
http://latifaalfares.com/node/105010
http://hipandkneeperth.com.au/rapidly-products-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers
http://www.dibrusaikhowa.com/expected-issues-among-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers-date
http://changesontheearth.com/easy-how-buy-cheap-twitter-followers-sites-what-exactly-called
http://determinedtodevelop.org/?q=node/314306
http://www.phanomrungpuri.co.th/node/9417

Feel free to visit my web-site: glorioso islands tourism

Anonymous said...

Hello this is kinda of off topic but I was wanting to know
if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.
I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

my web blog ... Appliance Repair Wesley Chapel

Anonymous said...

I blog often and I really thank you for your information.

This article has really peaked my interest. I'm going to book mark your website and keep checking for new information about once per week. I subscribed to your RSS feed too.

Visit my web site :: dishwasher repair Lutz