Friday, September 4, 2009

Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now


Finally we have a God sent African American President in the White House and he is starting to take a closer look at Africa and give a chance for his brothers to shine but at the same time advance the grand scheme of the USA to keep tabs on those Communist regimes like China who want to rule the world...and countries like Seychelles!

JenPa: Good Morning Sir! The high level delegation from the African Command Centre will be here within the hour and we need to ensure that we can get the best bargain out of the deal that they will be proposing to us. You have well noted that Mrs. Clinton has been doing her fair share of diplomacy on the African continent lately, although she did not stop in Seychelles.

Mr. President: Indeed JP. The time is ripe for Seychelles to strike a lucrative deal with the Americans and we need all the dollars we can get. I do not think they will remember me and the old gang who shouted ‘Yankees Go Home’ back in the 70’s. That was another era of course. Now we are calling them back because our safety is at stake and the only ones who can protect us are the Americans with their sophisticated machinery and firepower.

JenPa: Plus they have a vested interest in the whole region with the war in Afghanistan spreading down into Somalia and Yemen. Al Qaeda is closer to our doorsteps than we know. Can you imagine them taking our islands over? They will be closer to Diego Garcia and we can have an all out war in the region.

Mr. President: This is my philosophy of active diplomacy. Seychelles has to be friends to all. Just like wise old Jimmy said: “Friends to all, enemies to none”. It would probably have pleased Obama more if I had managed to get a Kenyan Chief Justice but at least we have a Ugandan. We are now using our influence with the Chinese to rebuild all our state institutions such as the Seychelles Parliament building and soon the Seychelles Judiciary building.

JenPa: Yeah, and now we are assured of a big US military presence with sophisticated hardware to watch over us in the counter terrorism age. That’s pretty clever Sir. I was told that during the days of the US Tracking Station Base at La Misere, several young Seychellois ladies were wooed by the Yankees and made it to the land of the free. Perhaps we can have the same effect now that a new wave of these hardy boys will be coming to town.

Mr. President: JP, we just cannot give them back the Tracking Station site as you know full well that we have given this to the Sheikh for one rupee. In fact, my strategy is to have the US presence here to keep our waters safer so that the big spenders from the Gulf can still enjoy our country as their playground and hopefully bring in the promised money to bail us out. I will suggest they take a few of the IDC hangars at the airport to run their operation.

JenPa: Sir, we can also propose a base on Ile Perseverance and get them to finish the construction of the dilapidated houses. In fact, they are also in search of a similar base such as Guantanamo to ship out the Al Qaeda prisoners, so they can use that to good effect and maybe pay us some more millions. By the way, I noticed that you did not invite our decorated Brigadier to attend the meeting?

Mr. President: Come on JP. That could have been a bit of an embarrassment don’t you think? His military knowledge is limited to AK-47s and building flats. I can see him asking the Commander a stupid question like “What is a DRONE”?

JenPa: Sir we need to be careful with those drones. They are highly sophisticated equipment that can turn against us as well. It has some sophisticated spying gear and flies remotely. We can use it to good effect and cut back on our spies that we place in all corners of Victoria. It can check on everything around the country. You can even get them to install a command centre right here at State House to check on every household. A perfect way to see if the activists are doing their jobs at campaigning for the next elections.

Mr. President: Great idea JP. Then we would have total control. If the Americans wants us to ease off on the freedom of the press by having more radios, TVs and independent newspapers, we can give in as we will not be monitoring every single household in this country. They can read and listen to what they want but we will have the ‘Big Brother’ power over them. Even at the elections the drones will be able to tell us where the people will be voting.

JenPa: We can now also spy on all the opposition leaders and see what they are up to. But can you imagine the sophisticated equipment we could have bought for all these years Sir. Now with the IMF telling us that we still have these $2.4 billion outstanding, we can also probably buy some of that sophisticated weaponry for our own use. If worse comes to the worse, at least we will know what to do. Cause once we have the Americans here, Obama’s desire for a flourishing democracy will prevail.

Mr. President: Indeed we have invested billions in this army of ours and we have nothing to show for except an old Topaz from India and one Chinese made surveillance aircraft. You see, if I did not engage in my active diplomacy we would still be in the age of 1977. JP, don’t you get it? The old Chief of Barbarons simply wants the Army here to protect his millions.

JenPa: Sir, we are back in the early days of the cold war. So we need to play our cards right. In the early days it was the Russians versus the USA for ideological influence and today it is the USA versus China for economic influence and of course the Middle-East oil supply. The Americans are hard working and intelligent and we need to provide them with all they require. This will be the key to our survival.

Mr. President: We will also finally get our nation to enjoy McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken and JP, you and your good bossom buddy Ken can have all the best beers such as BUDWEISER! Ah, I can hear the cars coming up State House Avenue. Let us welcome those Yanks with open arms.

JenPa exits the President’s office with a smile on his face, thinking about all the young American hunks that will soon be on our beaches and in our nightclubs. Hmmm hmmmm! The President stares outside the window, wishing he was young again and wearing a US Marines uniform. Ah, just think of how the women would flock to me… And I would flash those dollar bills around… my my my, how the tides have turned… I think I am finally seeing the light and becoming a true Capitalist like Albert, Mukesh, Glenny and little Francis.


Anonymous said...

The two biggest losers ever to live in Seychelles are James Michel and Albert Rene. They made such a mess of a beautiful country, kicked out the most educated citizens and professionals so that they could end up manipulating the remainder of the people who had no idea how bad they were getting screwed. And today, when their overseas bank accounts are full, they are pretending to be the saviour of the people. They are going back and begging Americans, Europeans and every other country they used to despise to come and help them while only a few years ago they were still yelling Yankees and Europeans (Grand Blanc) go Home. Fools they will be, and fools they will remain. The coup de grace would be for the remaining Seychellois to vote these 2 fools out of power once and for all and send them on a long retirement or better yet, to jail for the murders and the theft of state assets. May history never repeat itself again in the beautiful Seychelles.

Anonymous said...

Well, anyone who has murdered should be put on trail. This is normal in any democratic society.

Secondly, anyone who stolen money from a country should return it and face charges, so no one else does it again. THat is normal aswell.

It all sounds reasonable and possible.

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