Saturday, January 30, 2010

New element discovered in Seychelles

Press Release from the Seychelles – 30th January 2010

New element discovered in Seychelles to be included on the Periodic Table.



The Nuclear Physics Department of the newly created Seychelles University has discovered the heaviest and most corrupt element yet known to science. This new element, only found in the Seychelles Islands, is known as Governmentium (Gv).  It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 principal secretary neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 33 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 5 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some Seychelles Governmentium scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, especially dirty money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

This element is red in colour and is also known in the Seychelles as LP, whereas the older generation referred to it as SPUP and SPPF.

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Anonymous said...

and what about the freemasons and moonies

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Ha ha, bloody brilliant, but bet Patrick X finds something wrong with it!

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LOL! I actually found it quite funny indeed and am still chuckling as I write this! I have however seen it before and mus make one correction:

It is not only unique for Seychelles, but very common in all socialist countries worldwide and is especially common in countries like Cuba, North Korea and the former USSR. The sad thing about thie element is that its radiation sticks around for a long time and is very polluting indeed.

The worst problem with Governmentum however is that it has the ability to chemically attract another element, namely Oppositum because the two are chemically opposite, but tend to fusionate and become an element with enormous atomic mass, but rather useless for anything.

Make sure you don't get too close to it as it's contageous.

Patrick X

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Maybe you can give Patrick X his own element Code.

Lera Rosse

That will settle him up. My 150 family members in Cascade that are turning against Pl.will love it.

Anonymous said...

The SPPF is a rotten red liquid that equates to the Baka Lapire that is killing off some of our poorest people who cannot afford a Seybrew.

James Michel and Albert Rene are the neutronized morons, both rotten to the core like a bad red apple given to the people a la old witch to Snow White.

Let us hope that the red liquid blood of our people that they have spilled onto our land will soon be washed away by the CHANGE RAIN OF PURE HOLY WATER; let the Govermentium drink from the same brackish desalinated Mookesh pee fountain that we poor Seselwa drink on a daily basis.

To the STAR members, please continue to write as this is the best Seychelles political blog out there. It is just too bad that the Opposition members do not have the same energy that is generated from this site. But let us all spread the word to our friends and maybe we can help the people of Seychelles find the truth at the ballot box.

PS. Lera Rose, I salute you and your family for switching sides. Now get the 150 members of your family to co-sponsor 2 members each so that we can get a chain going. Pretty soon, we will be enlightened and we can bring the SPPF poison element to its knees and then help it along to its final resting place at the Mont Fleuri cemetery. Let the freedom ELEMENT reign in our land.

The proud Seychelloise who will NEVER vote for SPPF.

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Let's say we were to add values to certain "evils" or sins. Each evil/sin is given a certain weight, based on what society would concider it to be. This would depend on interpretation, but in general you could have something like this:

Murder - 10pts
Assisting to Commit Murder - 9.5pts
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If everyone in seychelles were to be valued according to this system, i wonder what our "leaders" would score?
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Anonymous said...

Very creative & humorous article I must say.
Keep them coming.

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Anonymous said...

You could at least attribute the article lest it be deemed to an act of plagiarism. I got no less than 31,400 hits on the element 'Governmentium' on Google as the following link shows - http://www.google.com.au/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=1R2GGLA_en&q=%22These+312+particles+are+held+together+by+forces+called+morons%22&btnG=Google+Search&meta=lr%3D&aq=f&oq=.

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Yes, but our Governtium isotope is unique by a thousand neutromorons :-D

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