Saturday, October 3, 2009

Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

Situation at State House has been growing restless. The President has been frustrated over Patrick Pillay’s resignation, and cocktail accusations of corruption. After getting nothing out of the African Union, and being placed next to Mugabe, and the SADC group wants Seychelles to remove trades tax to allow goods to freely flow, Mr. President feels burnt in Africa. He wants the fame and fan fare that Mancham enjoys, breakfast with the Press Club in DC, lunch with the Washington Post , meetings with top US people and leaders.

JenPa: Good morning Mr. President, as you have placed yourself as Foreign Minister and you have left me out of the picture by moving Barry Faure in as Principal Secretary, what role do you envision for my smart self sir?

Mr. President: Ah JP, do not take it too badly. I am not sending you packing my boy, you will always carry my bags. So every time I travel, you will have a 5 star room right next door to me. Every time we arrive in Abu Dhabi and we are received in an Oldsmobile Delta 88 stretch limo, you will be there next to me. I need you to write letters for me. Like that nasty little letter you wrote Mathew Servina a few weeks ago.

JenPa: Yes of course Sir, I understand. You need the light to shine on you a bit, to prop your self up and look statesmanlike....or like Mancham our First President.

Mr. President: Yes you are dead on JP, I need to look like a statesman with qualifications of course, which is why I demanded that I be named Chancellor of the University of Seychelles. Now I don’t have to earn a degree, I can of course just give myself one. As I give myself the University of Seychelles degree, I will automatically get a University of London Degree like Philippe Boulle. There, I have outsmarted, even the smartest on the Seychelles Bar! How do you like that JP?

JenPa: What about this Gill who is also a lawyer? He seems to always outsmart us. He now does a blog with other smart people, and they send it out to thousands of people each week. They work off googles engine and puff Mr. President, an opposition in cyberspace and it cost them nothing. Not a penny to attack you and our grand party Lepep, and they even draw funny cartoons of Sosis and the old Barbaron Master.

Mr. President: Well JP my smart SOS, there is irony in everything. In fact, it was the blog cartoon of me going to the moon that made me want to finally take the big leap into Foreign Affairs. I want to be where it’s happening like Mancham. Along the way, I will have you by my side.

JenPa: What if Ramkalawan takes the Country?

Mr. President: Don’t worry JP, you are young indeed. You are a better swimmer than survivor. In this game, it is about survival, in luxury of course. Look my friend, do you not attend these district meetings, we have too many gutters to clean, to keep them clean, too many bins to empty, to keep them emptied, too many passengers and not enough buses, too many seats on Air Seychelles to fill, too many students to school and train to educate, too many people to keep healthy. We are finished JP, I feel sorry for you and your generation. Your lives, and all LP Youth will be hell. Ton Albert and me have skimmed all the fat and sucked all the milk that can be sucked. The only thing left now is 18000 drug addict and alcoholics, and ladies asking for better pay, better housing, better buses, better MNA, better Ministers, and yes, a better President. Our university has more titles than degree courses offered. We have taken over polytechnic like Gill said we should instead of building a university on reclaimed land with speed boat access like Dr. Rolph (in two weeks) proposed. We are going fast my boy. Our only hope is the deep blue skies of Foreign Affairs with a little help from Mancham if I can get it.

JenPa: So you mean we will travel until we die, Sir?

Mr. President: Only if we are lucky JP!

JenPa: Oh goodie, I don’t have to write to Mathew Servina, and I don’t have to meet people from the Districts. I can live on Facebook. Yeep Yeep!

Mr. President: Your glass is not full yet JP!


Anonymous said...

These people don't care for Seychellois, they care for themselves.

They will use the People like they always use the people.

If they do care, why do they not charge their corrupt officials with crimes and make them give back the money?

Tell us that answer LP!

Anonymous said...

nice read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you learn that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

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