Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

A clean government and getting rid of the old guard

With the IMF in town to present their latest report card, it seems that things are now moving at a slower pace in Seychelles. We had SupaSave just before the elections to save us from the days of ‘Napa’ and now we have turned it into ‘CityMart’ with plenty of things but no money to buy. SMB is now STC and in order to clean up shop and have the real leader of the party install his authority, it is getting much harder than the President thought.

JenPa: Good Morning Sir! With the economy in stability and your assurances that the government is on the right track, the people are starting to see the light (or are they?). They are still desperately waiting for the increment in salary to be able to afford the basic commodities. We have now set up various shopping institutions reserved for various classes. The high profile send their drivers and maids to raid ISPC with their forex, the more fortunate grab whatever is on the shelves at Docklands and the rest wait for the adverts on TV before descending on STC in swarms.

Mr. President: It is impossible to please everyone JP. I wish I could do like everyone and visit the various shops to ‘marsande’ but I am scared that I might end up with a slap in the face. After more than thirty two years running this country, I cannot understand how this economy functions. Fish is scarce, commodities are at exorbitant prices and my poor people are suffering. I do not know who to blame anymore. We used to blame the Indian merchants during our struggle and today every corner shop is owned by them.

JenPa: Our aim Sir is to run a clean government that delivers. The district meeting have put us on the spot and we need to come out with a new strategy about how to come clean. The problem of recycling the same faces will not work anymore. Parti Lepep needs to see a new departure. New people who are prepared to take us onto a new road. But here’s the dilemma. Who do we bring in?

Mr. President: I think we need to follow the path of Zimbabwe. And more recently we have seen that even in Madagascar the rival leaders are prepared to put their differences aside for the good of the country. This is the approach we need to take from now on JP. There are more brains outside Seychelles that can help us to resolve those entire crises that we have unleashed upon us. Koste Seselwa has to go beyond our borders. We need to reach out to all those that we have wronged in the past. I have finally finished reading Mandela’s book ‘Long March to Freedom’ and I am now waiting for Ton Jimmy Mancham to send me a signed copy of his new autobiography. I believe Ton Jim and Mandela are right and reconciliation is the only way forward. We need to call on all our Seychellois people far and wide to come and contribute so that this country can prosper.

JenPa: I know Sir. This is the perfect strategy. Instead of relying on all these foreigners who are just here for a royal time like they did in the colonial days, at least we can have the true men and women from our own patrimony contributing whole-heartedly to the well being and prosperity of our nation.

Mr. President: But we have one problem JP. We have some of the old guard who refuse to budge, especially those who have been indoctrinated by our revolution. They say that they have been put there by the old man and it is only the old man who can ask them to leave. I do not have much control over the whole issue. I am really scared when I contemplate what will happen when the old man goes. Some of them still have the 1977 blood running through their veins. I am not able to play the role of the pacifier to unite everyone despite all our efforts.

JenPa: Indeed Mr. President. The Parti Lepep’s attempt to go back to the people is failing miserably. It is really now that we are seeing the misery these people are enduring. The complaints in the district meetings are just the tip of the iceberg. Some kids are going to school on empty stomachs. This is the reality happening to our ‘pti trezor’! People cannot cope anymore. We might have a people’s revolution on our hands soon, and I fear that the election will be much worse.

Mr. President: So what do you propose in your bright mind Mr. Secretary of State. Perhaps you have been doing some extra homework on how we can solve all our sociological and psychological problems.

JenPa: The country needs a complete clean up Sir. We should start with all the vices that have permeated throughout our society. I know that you are doing your best efforts to tackle the drug problem. But another aspect that needs to be eliminated is the ‘baka’ and ‘lapire’ culture that Morgan condoned and gave everyone free licenses to brew. This is the worse scourge on our working population and it is all Morgan’s fault Sir. And now what’s making it worse is the substitute such as a good old Seybrew beer or a Guinness costs twenty times more.

Mr. President: I know that the families are suffering a lot because of that as no real money is being brought home and the wives and children are the real ones suffering. How can we overturn this situation?

JenPa: Well the women are busy trying their luck at Ramadoss’s amusement centre in the hope that the few rupees will bring in the all illusive jackpot. It is a vicious cycle and we need to find the magical solution to put an end to it. Our young girls are turning into prostitutes just to get some money for a burger or to get their daily fixes of heroin. As a president for all Seychellois you really need to take these issues seriously as it is the very fabric of our society that is being torn apart. Our youth are fast becoming extinct Sir, and we need their votes.

Mr. President: I have noticed that the gap between the rich and the poor is widening very fast and we have not much of a chance to arrest this situation if we do not become more serious. I think I need to assert my authority and find a solution fast. We are sweeping too much of all this truth under the carpet via the media and I am afraid that it will all blow into our faces very soon. We need an entente cordiale between all the parties. Judging from the census we are doing with the ‘perron’ exercise, I have lost already the majority and we will need a huge cash injection to buy votes next time around.

JenPa: Precisely Sir! Entente cordiale! This is what is needed. Perhaps towards the end of the year and after we get the first year report card from the IMF, you can call on all Seychellois to vote on a referendum that will allow them to decide on a new Government of National Reconciliation and National Unity. No recriminations and no witch-hunt Sir. Just a plain message of ‘Let Us Help Each Other Out Of This Mess”. My recommendation is that you reach out quickly and find a person of integrity, a man who can be trusted by all Seychellois local and abroad. A real Seychellois patriot who does not have any dirty hands and one who has not pilfered the country.

Mr. President: The old man will have a stroke JP. But I think you are on the right track as if I don’t do that, we may end up losing the election as I hear there are some young patriots who may run for President in 2011. And we simply cannot afford to lose JP.

JenPa: That’s right Sir. There are some rumours of a young Presidential candidate in the making and from what I hear, he has a lot of followers already and people are starting to talk about him in the streets. The people of Seychelles want a change and this guy can outsmart us and even Ton Albert. So you have to move fast Sir. I assure you that if you go the National Reconciliation way, the lost $2.5 billion will come back from offshore bank accounts in no time and will be reinvested into the country to rebuild our basic infrastructure. A bit like the Ramadoss hospital which has now stopped from lack of funding from the boys! IMF has been asking where the funds were coming from.

Mr. President: Brilliant idea JP. You do have some great ideas when it comes to rapprochement. This will also pacify the old guard who will look into this as a smooth transition. We can phase out the army for a better Coast Guard and let the USA help us fight the pirates, we can get more labour into the crop growing workforce and build an efficient fishing industry. Exactly what was being planned before 1977! Well we had some good lessons to lean from the days of apartheid and now let’s see how things pan out in Madagascar. Perhaps we can follow that model.

The President is contemplating with every passing hour how his days are numbered at these State House grounds. Whatever happens, he can still claim to be the legitimate president who compromised his stature and had to give in to a more popular one… a bit like the Madagascar scenario! But he could be remembered as “The Great Reconciliator”, and maybe win the Mo Amin award of US$ 5 million for bringing peace and unity back into Seychelles. Now that would be retirement a la Communist style!

The Seychelles Column - By Christopher Gill

Mush Mash and Cooking with Your Feet

The Seychelles Central Bank Governor Pierre Laporte has come out with an advisory further to the recently enacted legislation called the Foreign Exchange Act, 2009. The title of this advisory, which has no legal implication is “Explanatory Note”. Usually when a legislation has been poorly written, or is vague, ambiguous, or unenforceable, in layman’s terms: “stupid”, the authorities of some banana republics will come out with an Explanatory Note to explain the mess. Mr. Laporte seems to have done that now.

Mr. Laporte envisions the primary focus of the Act will be that the local currency the Seychelles Rupee will be accepted as a means of payment all around the country. In other words, it will never be refused. However, the explanatory note says payments can be made in foreign currency wherein supported by written or oral agreement.

In other words, the law has no teeth and it cannot regulate as it suggest it is to do. More mush, more mash, and legislative cooking with feet, at its best.

Currency confidence cannot be legislated successfully. This is a simple concept and nothing fancy. But it takes an intelligent insightful mind to understand the complexity of such a simple proposition as Mr. Laporte has now showed us.

Mr. Laporte’s explanatory note also advises us that only authorised dealers can set rates of exchange. However, any person can also set rates of exchange subject to agreement. If this is not double talk, I do not know what is.

Mr. Laporte‘s attempt now to limit the scope of economic market forces to authorized dealers is nothing more then the farmer saying his pig will only be used for bacon. It is ridiculous of course. Any butcher will tell you, that you can get bacon in only a particular part of a pig; its under belly.

That means the only people that will follow Mr. Laporte’s notes are the authorized dealers and anyone else that sees it convenient to, on that particular day. The next day, or next transaction, may have a different consequence.

In this dynamic environment, the only way authorised dealers can remain viable, is if they remain financially competitive. This means they must offer the best prices for hard currency or the best prices for Seychelles Rupees. If they fail to live up to that challenge, the Black Market, which will be made up of written and oral contracts under Mr. Laporte’s explanatory notes, will take over the market place and send all the effort at regulation and control down the drain like the one party state, SMB, Orchid Farm, Coetivy Prawns, Pastella, bottled water, and all the other funny but expensive exercises we have embarked on and placed us on the wrong track for many years.

Careful now Mr. Laporte!

Anytime, a regulation attempts to control currency values beyond market forces and dictates thereof, the black market will surface. Regulations must not attempt to legislate supply and demand. When legislation tries to artificially regulate supply and demand, in this case, our Rupee currency, the drafter will be left with egg on his face. Don’t forget Mukesh and Albert’s MERP fiasco, currency searches at the airport, lines at the banks asking for a measly US$ 400 while suitcases of dollars were leaving the country through the VIP lounge, let alone the poor taxi drivers having to hide their hard earned dollars and tips in the sole of their shoes!

In his explanatory summary, Mr. Laporte admits that, “the Act is geared to regulate the market”....so it will not be long before egg lands on his face as the Black Market will dish out his breakfast for him.

In the meantime, we are all welcome to dine on mush and mash cooked with someone’s feet! And the lyrics of Pete Seeger’s 1956 song “Where have all the flowers gone” still rings true today:

“WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN?”

May God Bless All Freedom Loving Seychellois and Our Beloved Seychelles!

The Seychelles Column - By Christopher Gill

What happened at PUC and the infamous “Three Month Review”

Recently President James Michel bounced Electrical Engineer Philip Morin from the key post at the Seychelles Public Utilities Company (PUC). Mr. Morin has been given the new profile to look into alternative solar energy for Seychelles. I am most certain, Mr. Morin a well qualified Electrical Engineer of the highest order, can find work commensurate with his training in Mombasa; similarly to Rondolf Payet, the man who wanted to control sea cucumbers, Bourgeois (red snapper) fish and export mackerel burgers to Paris. But there is more to this sudden personnel transfer at PUC than meets the eye.

We must be wary when leaders try to play with our lives with the idea of saving their own political lives. To save themselves, as we have seen throughout most of corrupt Africa, putzy leaders use the people and scam their money to stay in power. In many cases, political leaders do not know what it is like to earn a living outside of a government office for 10, 20 even 30 years, unless they steal money. Barack Obama has his eye on these despots. We should as well. Do not be fooled by the leaders who supposedly feel our pain, and miss us, and cry for us when they travel, but do not even know us. Instead, they call us, “Sa Madam”, “Sa Myse laba”, then they say, ”Minis get ou zafer”.

Faure Said Review Every Three (3) months

When the world oil prices were going out of control, Minister Danny Faure told us that fuel prices at the pumps and PUC electricity bill charges would be reviewed every three (3) months to correspond with world market trends in the price of fuel. What happened? Since this grand announcement was made, fuel prices on the world market has slumped by more than 100%.

In Seychelles, our prices have stagnated at all time high prices. This results in an obvious net benefit to SEPEC and PUC that could in theory amount to at least $25 – $50 Million per annum. Ironically, that is about the sum SPPF-Parti Lepep will need to win an election again, unless the Opposition commits suicide.

The French At PUC Might Say: “But Your Rupee Devalued”

Of course, the Frenchman in charge from Suez Group will say the Seychelles Rupees devalued by 78% last year. Yes it did, Mr. Frenchman. But it also regained 38% in value according to our Governor of the Seychelles Central Bank Mr. Pierre Laporte. That is an incredible rebound, especially if anyone has ever played basketball. Hence today, the price of fuel in real terms even when considering the value of the Seychelles Rupee, cannot be more than 38% of world market prices, prorata, compared to current market prices.

What Is Happening ?

But THEY are of course scamming the difference. Likely saving it for an election slush fund because they can no longer think of a project, prepare a budget, double it, and then get a loan and pocket half of it in order to make the country and the party work. Nowadays, they are restricted from obtaining loans without IMF approval. Who are THEY? Well, it sure as hell is not me. I do not live by fake figures.

How To Raise Money For An Election?

Well, if a party cannot borrow money for an election, then that means they cannot order a new batch of new generation fuel efficient generators that cost Euro 35 Million. Nor can they buy another batch of oil tankers these days tallying up another Euro 100 million plus. So what are these poor rich boys from Africa to do?

Stick it to the people and get in a “friendly Frenchman” on a Euro 2 MILLION contract to ensure that the stick - sticks. What about qualified locals? Well, they know too much and say too much. Hence because deep down inside, all true Seychellois want to do the right thing by their country, they will not successfully walk down the wrong path of corruption and abuse indefinitely. Sooner or later, good overcomes evil, even in the hearts, and with that good men and women will leave Parti Lepep and its fossilized SPUP and SPPF.

To these men and women I say : Congratulations. Good on you Mr. Morin, you have done the right thing. Now we wait for Charlie, your brother to seek redemption. Perhaps he can have removed the tax incentives for donations to golf clubs in Seychelles and place the 200% incentive on drug rehabilitation centres in order that we can salvage our people from drug addiction and give them a second chance at life.

As for Mr. Philip Morin, I thank God that under your watch, the lights were not turned out in the aftermath of the last Presidential elections. Soldiers could have ended up hurting someone or even themselves in friendly fire when out of confusion, darkness would prevail over good.

Long and Short of a Scam

Simply put, rates on fuel and electricity consumption will stay high in order to pay for an election, because no one will lend Parti Lepep and SPPF even a mop to clean up the mess they have created. IMF will be watching every expenditure and loan. Of course, ex-PUC Managing Director Mukesh Valabhji could always donate some of the millions from his Intelvision empire or other businesses, or ex-President Rene could sell the Aussie farm and give the money to his favourite Party. But somehow, I doubt those two have a heart for all Seychellois like President Michel. After all, the global economy has been quite tough lately on billionaires!

In the next election, the Opposition will be wise to carry along some portable Honda generators with lamps attached, or even carry some old “Fanal Petrol” and some holy candles as backups. They may also want to add an alarm and motion sensor, just in case anyone or that usual party tries to steal the election while the lights are out.

You can use Robert Mugabe as a yardstick of things to come in Seychelles.

May God Bless All Freedom Loving Seychellois and Our Beloved Seychelles!

Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

‘Nou ban aki’ goes to more foreigners while law & order in Seychelles is in tatters – a serious State House indeed!

JenPa gets to the office early to catch up with some of the latest thoughts going through his mind since the Seychelles President has hinted that he wanted to reshuffle and see a new team on board. Now that the privatization process is in full swing, the foreigners are grabbing what they can while the local mafia boys are in full acquisition mode and spending all their corrupt money before FIU gets to them. Meanwhile, we need to face the dilemma of rebuilding state structure from the ground up, starting with the Seychelles Police, the School System, the Environment, Fisheries, Tourism, Health…. oh, how we have messed up the country since 1977….

JenPa (sitting on the President’s desk before the old man gets in.. he is on the mobile phone, speaker on and chatting away to swimming partner Kenie Rubbers…).

JenPa: Hey my man, this "Nobody's Child" is a joke! This guy thinks he can use the old First Lady to pull strings at SBC. Little does he know you are our new Yes Man at SBC. A first class butterfly that can keep tabs on Jacqueline and Afif. We should not budge, and he can go jump on his dream train to Anse Royale.

Kenie Rubbers: Yes, well I may be able to swim butterfly first class, but I also joined Jj Spirit Foundation and became a Judge in the talent contest. So what’s next? Is there more to come? I want to serve Jj buddy.

JenPa: Don't worry my bosom buddy, I am cleaning house now. I am paving the way for the youth of Seychelles and will soon clean up this Council of Ministers with one sweep of my ‘balye zig’. There are too many ‘Afifs’ around and we will never progress. You can make a great Minister and use some of your brains and skills to being back law and order which is now one of our major weak points.

Kenie Rubbers: Well, if you need me to do a little hand shaking in the districts I can manage that as well. I hear that the ‘peron’ teams are not doing well at all. No one wants to listen to them and all are asking to see the President himself so that they can give him a good piece of their minds.

JenPa: I'll talk to the President about it and see his reaction. He is acting very serious these days, and is in a really bad mood. Hardly jokes anymore and is so worried about his looks! Since the high level meeting with Marylou, he has kept a low profile. You see, one cannot make progress by talking to oneself. This is what is happening. It is like a summit meeting of Parti Lepep every time. It gets us nowhere. I can foresee more disaster on the way. Thank God for Swine Flu as it gave us the opportunity to put a stop to these stupid district meetings. We now have time to look for a new strategy as these last ones are hard core Opposition districts. In fact Ken, I believe the President is panicking as he is starting to mumble to himself that the Opposition is gaining grounds in all districts.

Kenie Rubbers: Well, we could use some new comedy programs at SBC. Running the same programs for 30 years is already a world record. Let us try to entertain our people a bit more with some interesting stuff so that they can forget the hardships. And this Shillington book of historical lies and Ton Albert on SBC did not help our cause very much. Our people are tired of seeing this old man who will simply not go away. They need to see new, young fresh faces like ours JP. We are the future.

JenPa: Yes yes indeed Ken. I need some parts for my VW convertible and that is still hard to come by even with the reform thing. Now we have even given up on PUC. After Mukesh’s and Morin’s fiasco and 30 plus years of bad management, what did we expect? If not the Irish or the Arabs or the South Africans, we might as well give it to the French. At least you and I have French blood in us. There is still something funny about this whole French Suez takeover, and I think the old mafia boss at Barbarons has something to do with it. Reminds me of the SWAC and STAR deal with Desroches and Fat IDC Boy. But everywhere you look these days, there are more casualties. We have to stay alert my friend as the 2017 vision has shattered like a cheap mirror.

Mr. President enters the room with dark rings under his bulging eyes: JP, what in the world are you doing under my desk?

JenPa: Sir, Good morning to you sir. It is an honour to serve you. I was just cleaning and removing some dust from under your desk. With Swine flu about, I wanted to make sure you would be safe, just in case the dust particles contained the virus Sir.

Mr. President: JP, you are really truly the best Secretary of State any President could ask for. There are more viruses being unleashed on us. The drug problem is now out of control, with 4 new cases admitted to the Psychiatric Ward every day according to Maryse and one or two suicides per week. At this rate we will not have any youngsters in the Jj spirit foundation. I am also being faced with a major dilemma with the judiciary. Now that I have given the go ahead for the Ugandan to come in on this fat salary, all the other members are deserting us. We are in trouble JP.

JenPa: Well Sir, we can always call on some of our ex-ministers like Herminie who have become lawyers and appoint them as judges! Even Renaud would love such a key post. It will absolve him of his past deeds as you know he used to love pouncing on these young ladies who worked for him.

Mr. President: Now don't confuse me early in the morning as we have serious business today. Our meeting with the Sheikh did not yield much. Only a mere 3 million dollars per year over ten years is all I could squeeze out of the guy. This will not take us a long way into our next election and over the IMF crisis.

JenPa: Yes Sir. And he said that was for prosperity and progress. We thought we were generous in giving him the ex-US Tracking Station land for one rupee so that one day he would repay back with a huge lump sum. It is true when dogs are skinny, ticks do attack them more.

Mr. President: Indeed JP. I desperately need a makeover now that things have quietened down in August. Call the Swedish massage specialist from Hilton, call the manicure girls from Four Seasons, and call the Filipino foot masseuse from Banyan Tree. I need them all to pamper me right now as I am stressed out. I will also have to take a couple weeks break to Singapore and see if I can get another facial makeover. Those bags under my eyes are becoming larger and they look like rubber balls. I seriously need a makeover.

JenPa: Excuse me Sir, did I hear you say Kenie Rubber as a new Minister Sir?

Mr. President: New Minister? JP, are you also on drugs? I said I wanted RUBBED, so get to it now!

Jenpa exits to try and find essential oils to give to the Swedish masseuse specialist in order to soothe the pain these new Gucci loafer shoes have been inflicting upon Prezzy’s toes. “I am really tired of being the white boy around here… After all, I am just like Hillary Clinton the US Secretary of State. I am sure she is not running around getting massage oils for Obama… I need another plan to take over around here….”.

Seychelles Global Citizen: The Autobiography of the Founding President

Seychelles Global Citizen: The Autobiography of the Founding President

There is growing competition for power and influence in the Indian Ocean which is considered the world's pre-eminent energy and trade interstate seaway at the time when China and India find themselves locked in an "uncomfortable embrace." No one is better qualified to tell this story than Sir James R. Mancham KBE, Founding President of the Republic of Seychelles, the 110 idyllic islands archipelago, who was overthrown in a Marxist coup in 1977 while he was in London to celebrate the Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II. Sir James was also the lawyer for Philco-Ford, Pan Am and RCA when the US Air Force decided to build a strategic tracking station in Seychelles to gather military intelligence over the former Soviet Union during the Cold War.

As Prime Minister of Seychelles, Sir James witnessed very closely the establishment by the USA of its most modern naval, air and military complex on the island of Diego Garcia. But Sir James autobiography Seychelles Global Citizen is more than a political treatise about the conflict for power and influence in the Indian Ocean and about Seychelles internal political intrigue and turmoil, it is also the story of a colorful human being who has been dubbed "The Trudeau of the East" and who has also been called "The Ernest Hemmingway of the Indian Ocean."

“James Mancham is the first President of Seychelles, one of several firsts achieved by this remarkable man. There is no doubt that here is a man with the capacity for high office —not only in his own country but also internationally.… He is ambitious, politically shrewd and a devoted Seychellois. He has the flamboyance of a Trudeau, the political determination of a Lee Kuan Yew and the stamina for travel of a Kissinger.”
—Alan Baily,The Times of London

“Mancham hailed, ‘International Ambassador for Peace and Goodwill’.”
—Seychelles Nation

"I admire Sir James' tenacity and even more than that, his historical reflections as an objective view rather than the subjective. His War on America is my reference point of his organizational abilities which gives me even greater admiration for his achievements; best of all; his devout interest in global peace. I do very much look forward to this new tome."
—Most Reverend Delmer Tripp Robinson, ThD, PhD, EdDM, Archbishop (Emeritus), The Anglican Church USA

"Sir James R. Mancham, the first President of the Republic of Seychelles, has become a visionary and passionate spokesman for the peoples of the small island states, a trail-blazer for peace across the oceans for he is truly a "Global Citizen" and a powerful advocate of our vision of "one human family under God."'
—Jose de Venecia, Five-time Speaker of the Philippine House of Representatives, Founding Chairman of the International Conference of Asian Political Parties (ICAPP), and Chairman-Emeritus of the Universal Peace Federation (UPF).

Contents
Historical Briefing
Foreword
Chapter 1 – Sweet Days of Youth
Chapter 2 – Law Student to Lawyer (1957-1963)
Chapter 3 – Becoming a Politician
Chapter 4 – The Controversy over Constitutional Advancement
Chapter 5 – The Arrival of the Americans
Chapter 6 – Irrevocably Thrust into the 20th Century
Chapter 7 – Among my African Friends
Chapter 8 – Seychelles – A Sovereign Nation
Chapter 9 – The Coup d’Etat of 5th June, 1977
Chapter 10 – Geo-Politics and Western Perfidy
Chapter 11 – Life in Exile as an Entrepreneur
Chapter 12 – The Attempted Counter-Coup
Chapter 12 – Return to Seychelles as ‘Apostle of National Reconciliation’
Chapter 13 – The Universal Peace Federation (U.P.F.)
Chapter 14 – Other Global Commitments
Chapter 15 – Seychelles First Policy and IMF Involvement
Chapter 16 – Power Rivalry in the Indian Ocean and the Arrival of Pirates
Epilogue
Appendix I – Anecdotes
Appendix II – Speeches and Editorials
Appendix III – A Year in the Life of JRM
Bibliography
Index

http://www.paragonhouse.com/Seychelles-Global-Citizen-The-Autobiography-of-the-Founding-President.html

YouTube Link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aT4CLXX13UI&eurl=http://www.paragonhouse.com/Seychelles-Global-Citizen-The-Autobiography-of-the-Founding-President.html&feature=player_embedded

Amazon.com Editorial Reviews

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1557788871

Product Description
This title offers an insightful and informative look at the remarkable life and times of Sir James Mancham - founding President of the Republic of the Seychelles. James Mancham (b. 1939) is one of the most remarkable people to have appeared on the international political stage. In 1977, he became the Founding President of the Republic of the Seychelles as he led the country to independence from the Commonwealth. However, just one year later, he was ousted from this position and forced into exile after a coup d'etat which ended with a socialist one-party state being declared. During his years in exile, Sir James became a hugely successful and influential figure in world politics, international relations, and as an advocate for democracy. He returned to the Seychelles in 1992 after multi-party democracy was restored, since then he has dedicated himself to promoting the Seychelles in the international community.

About the Author
Sir James R. Mancham, former President of the Seychelles, is an elected Member of the Academic Council for the European Centre for Peace and Development, and visiting Professor at the UN Peace University of Belgrade.

Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

"The Plot Thickens at Seychelles State House…." - By Seychelles Shakespeare

Secretary of State JenPa enters the Presidential Office for the morning briefing. The Arab Sheikh and family have finally left and the Seychelles Airport and the Barbaron ranch and villas have become very quiet. The South-East monsoon winds are blowing hard, and fish is rare at the Victoria market. The unusual heavy rains have saved Seychelles from another drought season, while King Prawn Mukesh desalination plants which cost Seychelles taxpayers millions of dollars have been shut down as they are too expensive to run and now sit idle collecting rust. La Gogue Dam built by Mancham from money he squeezed out of the British was at 16% capacity and the impending dry season of four months was projected to bring our economy and tourism industry to a dry, grinding halt.

JenPa: Good Morning Mr. President. Thank God for the rains and the Arab ruler who brought some dollars into our fragile, small-island economy.

President: Indeed JenPa. God must be shining his light on me. First rain and then a $30 million gift. Add the Jj Talent show and the wonderful women in my life, my fat overseas bank account, then add a new Chief Justice, and what more could a person ask for?

JenPa: Well Sir, maybe a new Police Force would be great as there is chaos with the brutal murder of one of our citizens and even more corruption in the force. The Irish are proving to be quite useless.

President: Ok JenPa, one thing at a time. God took six days to create the Earth and the Heavens, so let us not ask for too much now.

JenPa: Agreed Sir. But let me say Mr. President that it is a true honour serving you as your faithful Secretary of State as well as the Jj Spirit Team Leader.

President: Thank you JenPa. The JJ Spirit Talent Show did what we expected and I loved seeing you and Appoo on SBC-TV dancing and moving to the Reggae beat.

JenPa: (blushing and giving a shy look to the President)..Oh Sir, we were just shaking our little butts and showing off our own home-grown talent.

President: Too bad I can’t move like that anymore as arthritis has set it. I used to be a regular at Reef Hotel until our bomb blew it up. Then I could not show my face there anymore.

JenPa: I am sure Sir. I’ve seen a picture of you in your bell-bottoms and your Afro hairstyle back then. You were just like the Pti Men of today!

President: Indeed I was, and too bad Shillington did not put that in his modern history book.

JenPa: Maybe in the next edition Sir as I hear MacMillan is under pressure to stop the publication of this book. Too many lies Sir, just to please the old Master.

President: Ah history, my worse subject in school. Anyhow, let’s talk about now instead of the old days. Thank God it rained like cats and dogs as the talent show promised. Since the desalination plants are rusting and maintenance is too expensive, it was up to the JJ Spirit to bring the rains upon us. It is truly amazing what has happened. We are saved for another year. The tourists will not have to shower from a bucket and our little tresor children will not have to brush their teeth with muddy, salty water.

JenPa: Sir, the talent show brought out the very best red talent from our islands. Even our judges have talent you know Mr. President.

President: Yes, I know Miss Seychelles is quite talented and looks great in high heels. Liz is exceptionally talented and has managed to tattoo twin dolphins swimming on her back. Now that is talent JenPa. I wonder if there are any more tattoos down there (wink wink)….

JenPa: Yes indeed Spirit leader, these are all examples of amazing talent. But did you see my bossom swimming buddy Kenny Roberts? What a magnet of talent! He has made Seychelles proud in so many great moments when he beat the best of the Indian Ocean in swimming competitions. As a judge, he was superb Mr. President and carried the torch of talent forward in the talent show. As you know Sir, Kenny has done a superb job at SBC for you. He has towed the line and followed all the instructions I have given him. On the JJ Spirit team of opportunism, he has taken advantage of everything I have dished out to him and certainly proved himself.

President: What is your point JenPa? I am quite busy today as Liz has a few requests I must handle, and I also have to sign a form to export 2 giant tortoises I promised to the Chinese.

JenPa: (staring at Mr. President's empty desk in disbelief)…Well Sir, with the rains and the corresponding rise in tides, we will all be swimming to survive soon. As you know, many ministers cannot swim. They are quite heavy, lethargic and pretty much dead weight Sir. They are having trouble surviving the onslaught as we go into the abyss and deep down under, Mr. President. The district meetings are showing their poor performance.

President: Really?

JenPa: Sir, many ministers are complaining. Last week at the Maia Hotel Art Festival that was opened only to a few high-ranking Seychellois, I overheard Pillay-Piman whispering quietly to a certain big businessman that we are too corrupt. Belmont says he only learns of things in his Ministry when he is in the Council of Ministers meetings. Skinny Morgan still has not explained what happened to the $4.5 Million at Ile Perseverans. And Faure of course is masterminding your quick and premature retreat as he tries to fix the economy.

President: That is not good news JenPa.

JenPa: No Sir, absolutely not. My Manchester University Degree on the wall tells me that it time for you to move quickly to retire growing opposition in your rank and file, and to save the Jj Spirit Team of course. You need to promote new talent, Sir, just as you promised in the talent show. If you do, the youth will love you, and the old will respect you.

President: Smart boy you are JenPa. Now I know why I got rid of Orderly. Go on JenPa, speak quickly and tell me what you propose. I want to hear it before your two bald spots consume your whole head and the youth take you for an "oldie" cookie and you are consigned to the Jj Spirit “kazern”!

JenPa: Sir, don’t joke about my bald spots as I had more hair when I started working for you. It is pure pressure Sir. But given all these problems we face, I believe it would be a good strategy to bring in new blood. Time to retire the old horses to the pastures so to speak.

President: You think so JenPa?

JenPa: Absolutely Sir. I strongly recommend that you bring in new energetic swimmers like Kenny Roberts as a Minister. Sir, he has a degree from an American University, and that might help us with the new American lady Ambassador that has just been appointed by Obama. Liz can also take over at Culture and we can move Meriton to Finance. Retire Danny early to agriculture and tell him to sort out the mess Morgan has not been able to handle. Retire Morgan since he has no explanation as to what happened to the $4.5 Million at Ile Perseverans.

President: JenPa, you are a genius.

JenPa: Sir, I’m not done. Dugasse should go too as Seeva our Ambassador has been complaining about irregular financial activities, and of course there are several Russian and Arab investors who are after his head as well. Also with Mr. “Banbara Deal” Rondolph moving to Mombasa, that will leave us with only Rolph to deal with later. Sir, IMF will be so happy when you tell them that you are getting rid of some corrupt Government officials and our people will see a real President in action.

President: I hear you loud and clear JenPa. And what about Pillay?

JenPa: Well he has done enough and has amassed enough land to last him a lifetime, including that huge farm of his. You should replace him with Nitro-Nourrice, a real Yes-Man who will do whatever we say. Anyhow, he made a huge mess at SIBA, so we can be proud of him and promote him.

President: What about Miss Seychelles?

JenPa: Sir, just make her the reigning queen for a second year in a row!

President: Brilliant my boy. Go Manchester! That thing on the wall seems to work well. I think I need one.

JenPa: Sir, don’t worry. The University of Seychelles will open shortly, and the first degree will be bestowed upon you. Imagine getting a degree from a University that you founded. That’s another brilliant coup and you can finally add a degree to your CV. That will put you in the ranks of Mancham and Rene with their law degrees.

President: Ah JenPa, I have always dreamed of wearing that cap and gown and holding that degree in my hand. Lepep will soon see what a smart man I have become.

JenPa exits the President’s office, leaving the “savant” in a daydream of universities and future diplomas. With a smirk on his face, JenPa is feeling overjoyed by his ultimate plot to place his own friends in the highest offices in the land and displace these shameful SPPF Old Guard. “Once and for all” he mutters to himself, “ I can rid myself of the embarrassment of being a Coup D’Etat poster child and put the Adam family name right back where it belongs. Revenge is sweet”…