Thursday, July 8, 2010

Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

Sheik your booty & beggars’ paradise!


Despite the supplementary budget to keep going, the Seychelles President is finding it hard to sustain all the activities & dates crammed into his diary. When disaster strikes he needs to look abroad. Charity seems to be a new resource found in abundance in the Middle East. We cannot seem to find a drop of it at home. All we need to do is wiggle it a little bit and the Sheik will gratify. In this beggar’s paradise, the saviour is a Mage with a big heart bearing gifts to make up for all the tax free extravaganza...

BAWI: Jambo Bwana! I’m so elated to have weathered my first week by your side. I note that your newly appointed Lizzy is indeed like your guardian lizard on the wall. Nothing seems to escape her piercing gaze. She makes sure that she gobbles up all the bugs that might come your way.

Mr. President: Of course my man! She underwent intensive on-the-job training in her field. She is so proud to be by my side. This is what a presidential entourage is all about. All my needs, wishes and desires are catered for Bawi. I need to call on several aides to ensure that I am able to perform. This noble task is getting more complicated by the day. I will have to call on JP whenever we have those dignitaries visiting State House as he is used to my little habits and he is a reassuring figure. Now that he is the boss at Maison Queau, I need to remind him that I still have my diplomatic touch.

BAWI: Of course Sir. We are the best tandem pairing in the business. The Abbot and Costello double act of Seychellois diplomacy. You will note that I gave him the honour of opening the canteen at MOFA so that he can blend into the landscape there. The ribbon cutting ceremony was a perfect way to usher him into his seat. I did leave my mark though with an award scheme to boost the motivation of the staff. We are the young generation brimming with new ideas. You are indeed well surrounded my good Bwana. You also have the youngest and most qualified VP in our history by your side.

Mr. President: I am humbled by this great youthful presence around me. Danny Boy’s Cubanomics seems to be hitting the right notes. I never thought he could orchestrate such a masterstroke to get us out of this hole. The latest IMF report card is unbelievably incredible. Soon we will have the Paris Club wipe out all our debts. We have a 0.4% GDP growth and got a couple more million dollars disbursed. Enough to cover the expenses of the president’s office! The new tax reforms will adjust for inflation and we will clip the wings of those legislators who have lost touch with their people and riding in big jeeps like little princes on their fat salaries.

BAWI: Sir, I have conducted my research and found that you desperately need to boost the sales for your book of speeches. I have instructed Srdjana to come up with a TV advert to that effect. Your masterpiece will also be available in duty free shops so that we can target the overseas market since the local market could not be bothered. You have to outsell the ‘Torch of Freedom’ and ‘Portrait of a Struggle’ if you want your legacy to outlive you. The 4x4 machine was brought up on Per Fondater’s teachings and today we have infiltrated State House. Not bad for a fairy tale that started off on the shores of Lake Victoria...

Mr. President: This is what we call a great success story Bawi. You guys have been faithful since your early childhood. Your big bro cut his teeth in finance since the days when he was selling ‘The People’. He is now teaching IMF a thing or two. With tourism revenues down by 20% and fishing down by 50%, we are riding the perfect storm pretty well. Everyone seems to have forgotten about the $2.5 billion that flew away...

BAWI: Indeed Sir. Sheik Khalifa is now the new pillar of the economy as his Antonovs provide us with a lifeline, loaded with cement, water tanks, pipes, marble, palace furnishings, construction workers and much, much more. He is our saviour and his generous offers range from two generators for $18million, diagnostic centre for $10 million, over $ 38 million for new buses... The list is endless Sir. I did baffle them with the Vienna convention diplomatic immunity talk to cover up everything.

There is a sudden knock on the door and Lizzy ushers in Jomo who has turned up for his first briefing as the Home Affairs chief.
BAWI: Voila l’homme! Buenos dias Hombre! The man with the multiple hot potato portfolios! I do admire your tenacity and determination in the face of all these deflating criticisms and morganatic rumors about a ‘rock siren’ grinding you down.
Mr. President: So main man of the home run! What are your latest achievements? I can see that you are taking Regar to task and have asked for close to a million. Remember that you still have a $4.5 million hole to fill.JoMo: A very good day to you Sir. I am happy to see Bwana Bawi by your side. A worldly man who made sure that our voices were heard in Brussels. I had the immense pleasure of working the EU corridors of power with him when we brokered the new fisheries agreement. We have come a long way since then…

BAWI: Thank-you, thank-you. You’re far too kind! This elf of a man has the equivalent brain power of the whole Equator Institute Sir. You were wise to hand him the Home affairs portfolio.

JoMo: Sir, we have made excellent progress lately. My Gurkhas have landed and taken up their positions. I dare those cowboys to make the great escape again! We have installed some latest, state of the art flight monitoring system at SCAA which I had the honor to inaugurate. We are now ready for any pirate attack. The computer screens can pick up any suspect flying skiffs in the blink of an eye and an alert system is connected to our Gurkha garrison. We are in the process of electronically tagging the few Somali pirates in our custody so that they can be released on electronic bail.

Mr. President: You should now also be able to monitor all these flights in and out of Desnoeufs loaded with birds eggs destined for the ‘dalons’ and ‘copains’ in the region. The IDC prince will have nowhere to hide. He can go play with his lego set and build helicopters in his sand pit. I will bring back the NYS if I have to so that he can be taught a lesson in egg picking.

JoMo: Sir, we have also benefitted from his Highness’ generosity with the arrival of the new buses we promised at your district meetings. Lady Vero is over the moon! She was not too happy with the reduction in the bus fares but we have made up for it with those spanking new wheels. She is now on the lookout for those vandals as she nurses her little bump.

Mr. President: Great my man! You are so sleek at managing those complex issues. You need to take on my mantle from now on and pay regular visits to our comrades in arms. A PR exercise is needed now that we are getting close to the elections to reassure the police and the army that we will look after them well. Many thanks for this inciting brief. Bawi will see you out. Keep up the good work and don’t get too entangled in those lawsuits as they will only drain you out even more.

Phew! This SOS seat is really hot indeed! Bawi loves those intricate manoeuvrings along the sidelines. He enjoys his privileged position between boss and bro. JenPa now floats in and out of the abode to stay in the limelight. But the force is with the 4x4 and they can unleash their lethal sting whenever they are cornered. Pa seye ban la!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I ωas гecommendеd this blog by my cousin.
I'm not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble. You're incredible!
Thanks!

Αlso νisit my ωeb-sіte - lowes garden center

Anonymous said...

Hey! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a
quick shout out and say I truly enjoy reading through your articles.
Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same
topics? Many thanks!

my blog ... locuras

Anonymous said...

Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have
you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy.
The overall look of your site is great, as well as the content!


Take a look at my blog post ... returning

Anonymous said...

Hello I am so grateful I found your weblog, I really found you by accident, while I was looking on Google for something else, Anyways I am here now and would
just like to say many thanks for a tremendous post and a all round exciting blog
(I also love the theme/design), I don't have time to read through it all at the minute but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the excellent work.

my site: http://www.iamnotnaughty.com/members/georgetta/activity/72409/

Anonymous said...

May I simply say what a relief to discover an individual who genuinely knows what they're discussing on the internet. You actually realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people must check this out and understand this side of your story. I can't believe you're not more popular given that you surely possess the gift.

my page :: http://www.sjpellicova.cz/doku.php/profile_rubyed89lzucag

Dr Purva Pius said...

My Brothers and Sister all over the world, I am Mrs Boo Wheat from Canada ; i was in need of loan some month ago. i needed a loan to open my restaurant and bar, when one of my long time business partner introduce me to this good and trustful loan lender DR PURVA PIUS that help me out with a loan, and is interest rate is very low , thank God today. I am now a successful business Woman, and I became useful. In the life of others, I now hold a restaurant and bar. And about 30 workers, thank GOD for my life I am leaving well today a happy father with three kids, thanks to you DR PURVA PIUS Now I can take care of my lovely family, i can now pay my bill. I am now the bread winner of my family. If you are look for a trustful and reliable loan leader. You can Email him via,mail (urgentloan22@gmail.com) Please tell him Mrs Boo Wheat from Canada introduce you to him. THANKS.

Mohamed Ali said...

$$$ GENUINE LOAN WITH 3% INTEREST RATE APPLY NOW $$$.
Are you in need of a Loan to pay off your debt and start a new life? You have come to the right place were you can get your loan at a very low interest rate. Interested people/company should please contact us via email for more details.

E-mail: shadiraaliuloancompany1@gmail.com

mauro said...

offer of loan in 48 hours.


Hello do you Have financial concerns? And those who have difficulty obtaining capital loans from local banks and other financial institutions. Please refer to this E-mail address: maurogiovanni00@gmail.com

whatsapp: 0022961446810

mauro said...

offer of loan in 48 hours.


Hello do you Have financial concerns? And those who have difficulty obtaining capital loans from local banks and other financial institutions. Please refer to this E-mail address: maurogiovanni00@gmail.com

whatsapp: 0022961446810

Dr Purva Pius said...

Hello Everybody,
My name is Mrs Sharon Sim. I live in Singapore and i am a happy woman today? and i told my self that any lender that rescue my family from our poor situation, i will refer any person that is looking for loan to him, he gave me happiness to me and my family, i was in need of a loan of S$250,000.00 to start my life all over as i am a single mother with 3 kids I met this honest and GOD fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of S$250,000.00 SG. Dollar, he is a GOD fearing man, if you are in need of loan and you will pay back the loan please contact him tell him that is Mrs Sharon, that refer you to him. contact Dr Purva Pius,via email:(urgentloan22@gmail.com) Thank you.