New element discovered in Seychelles

Press Release from the Seychelles – 30^th January 2010

New element discovered in Seychelles to be included on the Periodic Table.

The Nuclear Physics Department of the newly created Seychelles University has discovered the heaviest and most corrupt element yet known to science. This new element, only found in the Seychelles Islands, is known as Governmentium (Gv).  It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 principal secretary neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 33 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 5 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some Seychelles Governmentium scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, especially dirty money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

This element is red in colour and is also known in the Seychelles as LP, whereas the older generation referred to it as SPUP and SPPF.