Seychelles State House Comedy - Playing at a theatre in Victoria

State House Anytime Now

New SOS on the block – Save Our Seychelles; and not to be confused with "Gros Sosis"

With Orderly out of the picture, it is time for the new generation from the rainbow stock to glow in this modern age of a battered and bruised State House. Integrity is at its lowest ebb and there is a strong movement for a more credible alternative to lead this country out of its morass. To counter this, JenPa senses that he has a chance of a lifetime to cling to Michel and force some sort of a youth revolution ‘A la Française’. The stage is set for his career defining interview and he briefs Mr. President on this latest media masterstroke...

JenPa: Konnichiwa Mr. President! I was up all night to prepare for this interview with SBC. I am indebted to you for this meteoric rise in the ranks at our beloved State House. I will serve you with diligence and will be at your every beck and call. As you know, I have a huge following in the youth ranks and we will create a new revolutionary movement.

Mr. President: Kanpai JP. Albert had his ‘Solda Rene’ and I need to get this new Jj Spirit movement up and running as my popularity is fading fast. We have desperately tried to paint a rosy picture for my five years in office but the odds are against us. I hope that you have some new tricks up your sleeve.

JenPa: Goshinpai-naku Sir. From now on we will create our own PR machine out of State House. We have started with the newsletter and we will make it a point to use the gardens as the backdrop for our interviews. I will be conducting mine and will be doing my self- introduction. I will put forward your noble cause of giving the youth a chance. I will show that despite my tender age, I have been exposed to lots of stuff. My formative years in the diplomatic corps will ring well with the intellectuals and the fact that I was discovered by Orderly will prove that there is continuity and we are cut from the same fabric.

Mr. President: I have not much of a choice my man! I did raid the Ministry of Foreign affairs when I took over five years ago but all the grey matter that I could count on has now taken flight. I am only left with yourself and Appoo. The Japanese promised that they would help out with a few robots here and there but they needed to fine tune the existing prototypes so that they can operate in a humid and tropical environment. I hear the new Honda humanoid model is called “Asimo” and quite brilliant.

JenPa: Aso! These Japanese are quite funny Sir. I was totally lost in translation on that trip. With all the seafood, butter fish, sushi, sashimi, beer and Sake in the system it was difficult to concentrate and focus on matters at hand.

Mr. President: We have to find another reason to visit this place again. I am quite fascinated by their complex culture and I find this Geisha tradition appealing. We need to start off a Geisha school locally so that we can add more sophistication to this new wave of prostitution that is hitting our shores.

JenPa: Very well Sir! I will send a note to the ministry concerned to look into this. It seems that the Japanese have promised a lot to us. I do not understand why they say ‘Aso’ to everything we ask and then tell us that we can do a study project.

Mr. President: Well you need to understand them my friend. They have perfected the art of projects and studies. Every idea has to undergo a project stage which then has to be studied and reviewed - a bit similar to the various committees that we create here to review all aspects that need urgent attention. The committees meet to review and discuss projects on a regular basis and this gives the impression that we are attending to matters at hand. Great way to confuse people when you don’t know what you are doing…

JenPa: Aso! We can surely learn a lot from these guys. Their savoir faire in the field of technology is unmatched. The respect they bestow on their elders and persons in authority is exemplary. We should start implementing a bowing ritual here at State House so that the visitors who call on us will treat you with the respect you deserve Sir.  Just like Obama bowing to the Saudi King a couple of weeks ago!

Mr. President: Kanpai JP! Too many people are taking me for a lightweight. I know that I do not master all those complex issues relative to the running of a country. But I was put in this chair to ensure that Albert Rene’s legacy lives on. We need to protect the revolution at all cost as long as the old man is alive. He is heading the Comrade Castro route and I know that all hell will break loose when his cigar extinguishes.  He was so close two weeks ago!

JenPa: I am sure that you do not want to be around when this happens, although a true State funeral might be good for your image. But you need to be discovering new avenues by then and leave it to the Jj Spirit Foundation to continue the reform. As you know there are several factions within the party but we are rising above all this with our movement. We are liberating the young generation to get them to think positive and forget about the hardships and tough economic times that we are under. I am the embodiment of these aspiring youths. Despite the little experience at least I have the ‘bonne volonte’ and courage that I mustered during my days at competitive swimming.

Mr. President: Kanpai JP! Experience is not the best virtue in this day and age. Albert chose me for my unwavering loyalty and not for the experience. This is where I am disgusted with some of those upstarts who think they know everything. They imagine life is like a bunch of roses which they can give out to every girlfriend that pulls a nerve inside their body. One cannot rule this country with the heart. This is something that I learned very well from Albert…  

JenPa: Indeed Sir. But we should not forget that we need to raise your profile which is currently quite dented. We need to exert all the influence we can in all circles. We need to be compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic, considerate, kindhearted, sensitive and bring back this caring thing…

Mr. President: Aso JP! There is a lot of apathy in this country and some of my team members are pathetic. We have to turn things around. Your idea of doing interviews on a regular basis will surely turn things around. The more I can be visible on the small screen; in all our papers etc… the better it is for me to reshape this profile. Do you think I am due for a facial makeover? I need to keep my appeal with this new generation that you are getting me to court as our base for the next elections… I need to be forever young like good old Mancham.

JenPa: Goshinpai-naku Sir. Will get all this organized and soon we will have our team of Geishas coming in courtesy of Mr. Aso.

Mr. President: Don’t forget to send over the refrigerated box of blue fin tuna loin, bigorno, birgo and banbara we promised him.  And tell big old Randolph at SFA that we need to offer a few more licenses to the Japanese long-liners.  Tell him to take a few away from the Taiwanese boats as we prefer a unitied China.

JenPa: Goshinpai-naku Mr. President. I have already dispatched the driver to take care of this and booked the cargo space on Emirates. I will now attend to my first press conference as the new SOS of this new generation of leadership. Sayounara…

Mr. President wishes JenPa the very best as he strolls into the gardens exuding an air of cockiness. He feels right at home in the driving seat of State House, his brain in overdrive as he turns the page on five years of bedlam to usher in a new era of controlled chaos... peppered with a fairy twist!