Wednesday, May 6, 2009

President of Seychelles James Michel Ready for Battle with Somali Pirates


The President of Seychelles James Michel has declared war on the Somali pirates.  Here he is in full Jj Air Force battle gear ready to take off in his F16 fighter.  Top Gun from Seychelles who preaches peace, unity, harmony and prosperity as if he was first President James Mancham. Too bad he does not practice what he preaches!


Monday, May 4, 2009

"Dan Bazar" & The Real Seychelles People

                                                        "Dan Bazar - Seychelles"

Hey Kouzin,

These are beautiful photos of “ Bazar”, it’s the manifestation of our Seychellois Culture at its best, Bazar and the activities in La Rue Bazar as a whole. At the same time this reminds me that we as a People (70,000 or so) very small in numbers, should do our utmost to preserve our Authentic Seychellois Culture and Values from being eroded by aggressive, invasive foreign cultures and influences, it is our duty!!! 

We should always be a welcoming People but we should never let down our guards, play dumb or simply jeopardize the integrity of our Nation and Motherland only for monetary gains, otherwise our actual “Real Seychellois” predominance will phase out in our own country, then we would have reached unjustifiably only because of greed or short sightedness the point of no return............When I think of such possible scenario my heart bleeds!!!


Why should it be like that??????

Isn’t it time for us to look at each other in the eyes, assume our faults, heal together and move forward as a Strong, Small, Nation, it is the only way for us to keep the opportunists at bay and together start true Seychellois Nation building!!!!

By Raymond J. A. Albert - A Seychelles Citizen

The Seychelles Financial Disaster & the Danny Boy Show

"45% i bon pou nou" 

The Seychelles Danny Boy Show is on the road again! Having returned from his trip to Paris in a beaming mood, Danny Faure could not help himself for the much craved airtime, to wax lyrical on the ‘tough’ negotiations he personally conducted (with his team) at the Club de Paris. Obviously conscious that James Michel is taking too much limelight, he has also found his moment of glory in his monthly press conference to update the people on how the sick patient is responding to the chemotherapy that he is administering.

It seems that the inexperienced, Cuban-trained Minister of Finance of Seychelles is starting to master the various terminologies of economics as this time round, he monopolised the whole press conference and only gave his technicians a few sound bites towards the end. In his usual authoritative, cocky and typical arrogant self, Faure went up the hill and down the coast several times in his attempt to paint a rosy picture out of the crisis that is staring us in the face. He even accepts that ‘45% i bon pou nou’! Is that a slip of the tongue which sums up their current political support in the country?

His young team has crunched the numbers and he is happy to report that things are on track. But Faure fails to convince when asked pertinent questions on the sustainability of his reform program. It seems odd that we will continue taking on loans when our primary objective is to get out of this quagmire by paying all these debts accumulated over the past years. In typical SPPF fashion, they know better. It is normal to keep on borrowing.

The Seychelles Finance Dream Team has yet to come up with a plan on how wealth will be generated in order for our country to meet its obligations. Keep borrowing to fill the holes is the modus operandi. Borrowing sustainably seems to be the best path out of this crisis.  With the Seychelles Governor of CBS Pierre Laporte relegated to the sidelines this time round, he rambled on about the economic model being conceived. Principal Secretary Afif was entangled in the ‘framework’ of how this ‘model’ will be executed. All this has to be taken with a heavy dose of a new ‘mindset’. These are currently the buzz words that are in fashion for the SPPF regime.

With the showboating taking centre stage, Danny Boy is enjoying his moment out of the shade. His musical chairs will end with the Finance portfolio and he is already contemplating the preservation of the Rene legacy by throwing his hat into the ring for 2011 and beyond. He is actively engineering the NYS Class of ‘81 movement as the platform to support his model and the framework that this new mindset will operate under. As he commented on the interest rate of the bonds, “9.125% I for lo nou!”

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Seychelles Column - By Christopher Gill

The Talk, Talk, Talking Seychelles President

No sooner than the Cascade meeting of despair had finished, did Mr. President rush in Antoine Onezime to State House for another golden drape decor talk, to clear up the Public's doubts in his Administration's credibility, which is wearing very thin at this time.

A Moment With Mr. President- Really Now!

The President's chat with the nation through Onezime, this time turned its focus on to the $2.4 Billion missing in our banking system. He has alleged that the figure is $2.5 Billion and not $2.4 Billion as IMF asserts.

When questioned by Antoine Onezime, who is slowly displaying more and more courage to face Michel with Truth, on the issue of corruption and misuse of loan moneys, Michel said that the Paris Club forgiving us 45% of our debts is a "validation" of his government's work. Hence, there is no money missing, and this is a horse of battle for the Opposition.

Michel says that this "offer" by the Paris Club shows it believes in his Government. If the Paris Club thought money was missing they would not forgive our debts by 45%. He has said that he has traveled and given many speeches on the plight of small island states, hence the favourable treatment by the Paris Club. According to Michel's spin on the Paris Club announcement, if his government was corrupt, it would not get Paris Club "validation".

Validation according to Michel, implies approval. He wants this validation to translate into popular support for him and his government. Seychellois Beware!

There Is No Validation

Well, the Paris Club does not work as Michel dreams it does. Neither does the offer to Seychelles. Read below and see the break down Michel's lies and misrepresentations to the People of Seychelles, in another gallant Communist effort to fake it, not until he makes it, but until he gets to his grave (pardon the old Irish saying, but we have to use Irish sayings these days, so get use to it). You give us Irish, we give it back to you!

Paris Club Has Not Pardoned 45% of Seychelles Debt Yet!

Paris Club has offered to pardon, that is forgive write off, 45% of Seychelles debt if SPPF sticks to the IMF Plan it has embarked on. It is proposed that $20 Million will be written off in July, after the IMF consultations and review, if SPPF is still sticking to the IMF game plan. That is a big if.

There is no validation in this offer. It is really a carrot and stick thing, to train SPPF communist to evolve, into a pragmatic, free market, libertarian party.

In a phrase, the Paris Club, having SPPF financially chained and balled, hopes to melt down the AK-47's and use the metal to mould rakes, hoes, and plows. Good luck Paris Club.

Another portion of $20 million may be forgiven on the second year, if SPPF is still implementing the IMF programme. In total the amount proposed for forgiveness, but not yet granted, is about US$ 70 Million. The remaining balance will be put on a grace of five (5) years before repayment. SPPF has to pay the Paris Club $1 Million upfront, so where's the validation? It just sounds like the Paris Club does not want another failed state in the region.

Our other commercial obligations and non Paris Club obligations are still over $820 Million. Some of the commercial debts like the Lehman Brothers loans, have interest payments of near 10% per annum. Add that up fast and is compounded if payments stalled. It is money in this category of borrowing, commercial loans, that allegations of misuse has been focused, not on Paris Club loans as Michel tries to assert to fool the Public. Amateur actor he is! Only But You!

SPPF Taking More Debt Again

Recently, while SPPF has been pitching the Paris Club Proposal around as a fait accompli, to stay afloat, the SPPF have tacked on additional debt burdens recently to make our total sum owed even greater, which dwarfs the Paris Club proposal.

Over the years, they will search out more loans and increase our debt burden even more to stay afloat. And while no one wants to see Seychelles move down to failed state status, the warning signs are already shining in our face daily. People of Seychelles must go beyond the senses of pain and suffering and rationalize a proper transition of power to bring in a new era of freedoms and new attitude that place Seychellois at the center of development and not in the back kitchen. 

IMF Plan will be $26 Million over two years, ADB Budget Support Facility (which means, a Country cannot make it on its own and needs immediate help) is $ 20 Million. Total $46 Million. These debts have been accumulated by SPPF only recently. 

Hence for this year, the net benefit of SPPF efforts with Paris Club is really only about $24 Million, from the 45% debt forgiveness package.

Do Not Forget The Ticking Bomb - INTEREST

As interest rates crank on debts SPPF do not speedily pay back, this debt burden will actually increase.

As Michel softens the financial blows to us with the nice little pretty word REFORM, remember People of Seychelles, in October last year Sunday Times ran an article with Mr. President gracing State House lawns titled: "Living on Borrowed Time", another article was run in L’Express: "Seychelles BANKRUPT", as IMF prepared an offer to Seychelles, AFIF was sweating bullets on Face a Face and Faure, on a Saturday was running to SBC to announce we have a Plan and an immediate disbursement would be made to help us meet fuel bills. These frantic efforts are a sign of our BANKRUPT ECONOMY.

In reality, there is no REFORM under Michel, his Government is BANKRUPT. It is Michel that led us to BANKRUPTCY, with the help of sidekicks like Chang Leng at the Central Bank.

Danny Faure has been in charge of the mop up operation after the free for all party at Central Bank, which any President should have known about, especially when he did drink coffee regularly with the Governor of Central Bank. Faure travels the World now, cleaning up the mess created by Michel, Butler-Payet, Chang Leng, Chang Sam and others.

After each mop up trip, he goes to the National Assembly, and presents a brave face, and puts our troubles in the best possible light, to save SPPF. This is the game plan. But it does not change Seychellois reality.

The long and short of this is that if Michel thinks Paris Club has "validated his government's" BANKRUPTCY, then the man should simply resign in mid term and let Joe Belmont and Danny Faure carry the SPPF torch. At least these two gentlemen, for all their short comings, do still have their feet on the ground and both are workers and listeners, instead of fakers, lately.

Wake up SPPF, stop wasting our time and eating into our children's future, with your debts, as Mr. Onezime pointed out. Just for that one question we should introduce a Freedom of Press Award, and give it to Mr. Onezime. For it took great courage, in one moment, to face this fake and question him like you should. Congratulations!

Twisty James Gets Twisted

Addressing the missing $2.4Billion issue which highly credible, IMF placed in public domain, through SCCI and journalists, Michel said that these funds, held by offshore companies were owned by Seychellois like the one at Barbaron and the one with a factory, who is that? Another mystery Seychellois? Give us a break Michel. Michel asserts that IMF is wrong and the amount overseas can be $5 Billion. Now, Mr. Twisty, where did you get the $5 Billion figure. IMF said $2.4Billion not $5 Billion. Do you have information on more money missing in our banking system? Can we have so many rich Seychellois living under tin roofed houses? 

For your information Michel, IMF said the Seychellois in question, were bonafide citizens of long time, who served in the government of Seychelles through offices or parastatals. They were not UK citizens with factories that donated a fancy car to you but have legally declared their domicile to be UK as per High Court of Appeals there. Give us a break Twisty!

My suggestion to SPPF is to use the first week of June 2009, to call an Extraordinary Congress, but make it ordinary and fast, pass two (2) motions. I will write them for you if Boss cannot help. 

Motion One: "Be it resolved that the Central Committee of Seychelles Progressive Front aka SPUP, thanks James Alix Michel for all he has done for Seychelles since the 5th of June Coup D’Etat 1977, and we hereby offer him an early retirement from his term of office".

Automatically on resignation Joe Belmont becomes President and Danny Faure Vice President. Meriton appointed Minister Designate.

Motion Two: "Be it resolved that once assuming office Mr. Belmont will dissolve the National Assembly within seven (7) days and cause to be called a General Election of the post of the Presidency and all National Assembly seats in order to foster greater stability and unity in Seychelles".

Then vote on it, have everyone raise there hands and let us get it on for our children's sake.

I will offer you more free advice when the vote passes. 

May God Bless All Freedom Loving Seychellois and Our Beloved Seychelles!

 

 

Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

Misery Loves Company at the Seychelles State House

The District meetings with the President are not working out well. Mr. Seychelles President is being hit hard with questions from the audience. He has totally underestimated the turnout and the mood of the people. Old women are embarrassing him publicly. Most men ignore him and do not even bother to attend the meetings. Jj has to go back to old communist dog tactics to pull off next meetings on Praslin. But all is not well.

JenPa: Good Morning Sir, did you sleep well last night knowing that 10 Seychellois are being held hostage by Somali pirates King Gadeed?

Mr. President: Yes. But this morning I am really worried about the Praslin meeting. I have been travelling with Liz so much I forgot all about Praslin and those die hard SPPF in Baie St. Anne, our last hold out.

JenPa: Ah Mr. President, don't worry about it. We opened the Pension Fund Building project - the one Sosis fathered - twice there last year and we opened the Jj Spirit internet center, once, so relax. Praslin will always be SPPF.

Mr. President: I don't know Jenpa, puff, I am worried. In the last election we lost a few hard core districts. Now La Digue is threatening to go Opposition. Praslin can swing you know. Mitcy has been giving out houses to her family and relatives, she leaves other people in real need that do not support her under... rocks I heard, is that true?  She runs the place like she is the Queen of Sheba. Ministry of Employment is not independent, PDF is scared of her, Gardette is scared of her, Kannen is scared of her? The hospital is scared of her. If so many people are scared of her, we might lose the vote. You know JenPa, I am scared of her. In fact, just to be safe, call her, tell her to prep her questions. When we are finished with the Grand Anse meeting, we will meet her at her house. Then we can go over the questions for Baie St. Anne to keep things looking good. I need to know what will be asked. Tell her no tricks, make sure no one burns in a truck or gets tossed under a bridge before I get there.

JenPa: Yes Sir, I will do that. Safe is best!

Mr. President: Also, call Mark Volcere, from Grand Anse. Tell him its time for pay back for the Pearl Class tickets and accommodation and meals for the VIP Rodrigues trip in February 2009. I want him to get out of his red jeep and start walking around to meet with people and give them written invitations to attend the Grand Anse meeting on Saturday. I want this room filled to the top - over flowing, with supporters. Even if he has to pay 500 rupees per head to every Guiness drinker under a coconut tree, I want this hall filled with excitement. Also tell him to screen out all women that are suffering. I do not want to have to deal with suffering questions, it makes me look bad. Look what happened at Cascade. Keep all the suffering people out. It makes the Jj SPIRIT team look useless and confirms the accusation that we are incompetent, which maybe likely very true.

JenPa: Yes of course, Sir. How are we going to get everyone to Praslin Sir?

Mr. President: Now you know why I am President and you are the Seychelles Facebook King, my boy! Call Praslin Express, tell them to reserve the boat. They have to pay back too. Remember when we squeezed BIG JOE and 4 COCOS into paying for fuel in foreign exchange? Well, JenPa, you tight butt handler, Express was paying fuel in Seychelles Rupees and we turned a blind eye. They used Praslin Dolphin to buy fuel then they pumped it into Express.  Big Joe needed to be cut down to size, so we helped Express get going. Tell them its time to payback or we will charge them Euros for fuel. Ignore Joe for now, but get a true SPPF supporter in the Praslin meeting to bring up the high cost of concrete blocks and macadam. Then watch me deal with him and call him one of those greedy merchants who is malonet and making millions off our poor supporters.

JenPa: Mr. President, you are well networked and so powerful; I am so impressed Sir. Indeed Big Joe is too much of an arrogant SOB and should be cut down to size. Ton Albert was good at wringing his neck and making him pay millions in donations.  By the way, can you tell me where I can get a case of Amstel long necks? Or better still some Corona beer that I can enjoy with a twist of lemon. I am tired of Seychelles beer.

Mr. President: Only Glenny has those contacts JenPa, you will have to milk your cousin for a long neck you swimmer cum sooner or later boozer- under my administration! Beware of those Mexican beers. I do not want you to come down with this swine flu virus! Or any other viruses for that matter… so watch the company you sleep with.

JenPa: Ah, thank you for the contact Sir! I will contact old 'kouzin', before he is taken by a pirate for a cannibal feeding. Boy, wouldn’t that be a jackpot if the pirates took my fat cousin?

Mr. President: Yes, you have a point JenPa, he has gotten quite large since feeding off our IDC resources. I even hear there is a turtle farm on Farquhar too and meats and tortoise shells are being exported.  My spies and contacts will bring pictures soon and I will deal with him. For now though, we need the commissions from the Desroches villa sales and those racist white boys from South Africa. Remember, Seeva wants his money back, and the coffers are quite empty at the moment.  So we can’t hit the BIG BOY too hard.

JenPa: Maybe he and Mitcy can exchange dresses in the crisis to save us money on material.

Mr. President: That's a thought JenPa, let's think this one over.

Misery does love company! Jenpa walks out of his office perplexed and in wonder as to how in the hell did his cousin get so large, how many 'fouke', 'torti', 'marswen', 'dizef zwazo', may have fallen prey to his close relative's appetite unlimited, the master outer lsland consumer of national resources JenPa thought to himself. Then he looked at his lean swimmer-build and felt proud to prefer long neck beer bottles over pork belly curry or 'letoufe fouke'.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Seychelles 2nd Coup D'Etat - Ramadoss Royal Flush

Royal Flush for the Bogus Philanthropist

Ramadoss lays his siege on SCCI

The Bogus Philanthropist is at it again! In a major coup orchestrated with the sly intention of power consolidation and influence on the country’s economic community, the good old doctor lands in the chair of the Seychelles Chamber of Commerce (SCCI).  It is well known that Dr. Ramadoss has been accumulating wealth and businesses handed on a golden platter by the SPPF government – tainted by allegations that he acts as a front man for key figures in our society. He has even hinted at the prospect of joining the political race, presumably taking into account his support from higher up or from the shear fact that he has enough in his coffers to fund such a high risk gamble.

And gambling is one of the doctor’s main line of business. A business he has enjoyed with impunity where taxation laws are concerned for over a decade. Is there a specific reason for the SPPF government to refrain from taxing one of the most lucrative businesses? There are surely some ulterior motives… perhaps it is the main source of funding for the SPPF or a major source of income for the ones in the shadows or the Bogus man himself? Surely a decent tax on this industry of vice would go a long way towards digging us out of this financial hole that we find ourselves in today.

With the advent of privatisation, the doctor was at the forefront of the acquisition of several government companies with the latest being the SMB bottling plant which he has snapped up under the name of his two brothers (the empire expands!). Awash with cash, he diversified into hotels, other casinos, restaurants, super market, construction, private hospital, agriculture, local tour operation company, printing, food manufacture etc… sounds like SPPF nationalisation of the ‘80s? Well, it is the perfect way to let go by grabbing almost everything through the back door. Why has no one questioned the cronyism or favouritism being practiced by the SPPF? Is this not CORRUPTION to the first degree Mr. President Michel?

With the rise of Ramadoss, we have seen an alarming interest and involvement of Indian nationals in our society to the point that several locals fear a radical transformation of the Seychellois community as we know it. A predomination of one ethnic group in our country will surely alter the makeup of these rainbow islands. This wave of influence being wielded by the doctor and his cohorts is more far reaching than one would like to believe. Having already thrown his weight in the Medical Association and the Hindu Community, Ramadoss mobilised his kinfolk and threw them into the arena to take on the most influential independent institution of our land. With the SCCI chairmanship firmly in his grasp (don’t forget buddy Dolor as Vice-Chair and cohort Palani as Treasurer), the good old doctor with his Midas touch is poised for another meteoric rise on the echelons of power… up high in the sky and perhaps one day to State House! Better watch your back Mr. President Michel as you will now have to engage in dialogue with the man himself… Or is it Narcissus staring at himself in the puddle?

Seychelles Cartoon - Paris Club & Michel's Anger


Paris Club only forgives 45% of Seychelles debt.  I guess Michel was hoping for a 100% write-off! 

Meanwhile, the poor Seychelles citizens are left to pay off the remaining debt of US$ 820,000,000 (US Dollars Eight Hundred and Twenty Million), while the kings, queens, princes and princesses of the SPPF clan enjoy their ill-gotten wealth accumulated during Rene's and Michel's reign of terror, corruption and nepotism!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Where is the Seychelles Coast Guards?

Melody Cruise Ship Successfully Evades Pirates Near Seychelles

Another day, another attempted pirate attack.

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., April 26 /PRNewswire/ -- MSC Cruises confirms that the Melody cruise ship was attacked by pirates near the Seychelles Islands on Saturday evening, April 25, 2009. The ship initiated avoidance procedures and quickly escaped the attack with no injuries to any of the approximately 1,000 passengers and 500 crew members onboard.

The pirates approached the ship in a small speedboat firing automatic weapons at 7:35 pm GMT while the ship was sailing 180 nautical miles from Port Victoria in the Seychelles. MSC Cruises immediately informed the Italian government foreign office (La Farnesina), the Maritime Security Center in London and the Coordination Center for Security in Dubai.

A military vessel from the international security forces in the region has been sent to escort the Melody as a precaution, and the ship is continuing to Aqaba, Jordan, on its scheduled itinerary.

But where is the Seychelles Coast Guards, patrol boat "Andromache", Indian Navy ship, let alone the French patrol plane?  After 32 years and hundreds of millions of dollars spent on a useless army to keep Albert Rene, James Michel and the SPPF in power, the Seychelles today cannot even defend its inner islands and the two hundred mile zone around Mahe!  Shame on you Albert Rene, shame on you James Michel.  You are both losers and today the country is paying the price for your 3 decades plus of mismanagement and corruption.  Too bad Albert is so sick he can no longer visit his favourite islands.  What a gift it would be to the people of Seychelles if the Somalian Pirates could hijack Albert, Sarah, Michel, Mukesh Valabhji, Glenny Savy and a few others in the corrupt SPPF government.  It would be the pirates' greatest payday ever as the millions in ransom would be paid within 24 hours.  Meanwhile, the 10 Seychellois citizens are left to rot on Somalian soil while Albert, Mukesh, Jj and others continue to pilfer the country's coffers.  The end is near dear SPPF so-called leaders.  Better start praying that it comes sooner rather than later.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Seychelles Satire - State House Anytime Now

Cascade HELL hath no fury...and all things in between

Life seems to be a cruel hell! With the much publicised district meetings back on track, every stop is like a rotten egg on the face as the populace are asking pertinent questions that Mr. President has to shadow box his way out of. Even the heavy editing by SBC could not put him in a good light. To make matters worse he had to endure a monologue of sarcastic praise from ‘Deco’ the comedian MNA. JenPA could not come to his rescue as he was mingling in the crowd trying to get the proper pulse of these bad vibes, along with the State House madams with writing pads in hand taking notes.  Hmmm, we need to push for a major youth activity to turn things around and at least bring some cheer to good old JAM - only five years and already contemplating throwing in the towel…

JenPa: Bonjour Monsieur le President! The eastern river of hope cascaded on our heads last week. I was always under the impression that Deco had everything in control there. I never realised that they would bombard us with questions and insinuations of incompetency. You surely do not deserve this Sir! After five years of toiling to end up in the same spot does not auger well. You see, Orderly has been fooling you all this time.

Mr. President: Indeed JP. I have always been fooled and I do not have the wisdom to see through all this. I am led by the nose like the bulls on La Digue. This is why I surround myself with all these bodyguards and I go to these districts with my team of ministers and high ranking officials. It is to project the image that we work as a team and I am in charge. But it is for me to deflect the nasty questions and to take the praise & glory for the few good things I have done so far. I need to be present everywhere JP so that my people can see I am a man of action! Remember that I told them when I came to power that they need to judge me by my actions. Well, I have been the Clint Eastwood and Rambo of Seychelles for the last five years…

JenPa: Sir, we need to work on getting you as much sympathy as possible from the people. They know that you cannot be everywhere but they do see you on TV every night. You seem to be a one man show! You cannot handle all the ministerial portfolios all at once. Guys like Pillay is enjoying his role as host on the cocktail circuit while he builds his palace at Port Launay and you take on his role as Foreign Minister…

Mr. President: Yeah, I also had to take on the function of Minister of Defence when I got back from Japan as little Jo seems to have cherished this role – despite shitting in his pants when he sees an AK 47! Big Jo the static VP had gone into hibernation during this whole debacle. He is still recouping from the prison mutiny dilemma. I am starting to get fed up with all these complaints we are getting from the districts. It shows total inefficiency of my government and puts me in a terrible light.

JenPa: Sir we have to attend to some of the comments made at Cascade speedily. It is totally unacceptable that we are still having public transport problems despite the importation of new buses and modernisation of SPTC.

Mr. President: I am equally dumb-assed JP! No one seems to be finding solutions to these petty issues such as lights for ladies to be safe at night. We have new buses from China and now it seems that no one wants to take them on the routes. I will probably make a call to Greg and ask him to break the monopoly on ox-carts on La Digue and send some over to Mahé to handle the secondary routes.

JenPa: Very well Sir! We should also perhaps fire some more workers to keep the IMF happy and reduce the load on the buses. If the workers of Cascade do not have a job, then they cannot go to work and hence don’t need the bus.

Mr. President: Good thinking my man! We probably need to decentralise the whole thing like Auntie Mitzy did on Praslin. But we have to try and protect the girlies by giving them some Cuores and Picantos! They refuse to ride the bus, but at least they are fresh and smell like roses when they arrive… I like these young women that smell soooo good JP.

JenPa: Ok Sir, enough of this wheels business. We have to watch the budget. Liz was the last one to get a jeep. In fact, we need to start raising some money from now on. We should go along with the Irish recommendation of selling all the AK 47s and remove them from civil policing.  

Mr. President: Good idea! We should do a “Malo” arms deal and get some precious forex. Or better still, we can do barter with the Somali pirates and give them the arms as a ransom in exchange for the hostages. Yeah, let’s get Glenny in on this. He can wrap it up in cases of ‘fouke sale’, birds’ eggs and ‘torti sale’ like he did in ‘94!

JenPa: That should do the trick Sir! If it is well concealed like that even Tonton Albert will never notice. By the way, there has been an outpouring of compliments on my new appointment as SOS. A lot of this has been via ‘Facebook’. I can vouch that I am the most popular guy on this social networking site. It is a great gauge for my future presidential bid, judging from the tough time you had at Cascade – and more to come!

Mr. President: Hey not so fast! What is this book that you are writing? I have seen a lot of faces during my five year tenure and perhaps you should also include me – with the Pope, with the Japanese Emperor, Sarkozy! Hey, I am popular as well!

JenPa: Indeed Sir. Especially with the girls as the social agenda is getting more and more delicate to handle. We had to placate the one on Praslin who got a toaster from you as a gift with a trip to Singapore (paid via the Jj Spirit Foundation) as she was complaining badly. We will maintain the trips overseas – despite the criticism – so that you can continue to explore the more exotic varieties.

Mr. President: Good work JP! With the new car hire I have given to Natti and the nice Raffles Hotel contract coming up, she’ll be kept busy and stay quiet for a while. This is the best repositioning. Give them what they want and we have peace of mind on that front. Liz is on the State House team so we can monitor closely. Doreen is a docile secretary who knows all my whims…

JenPa: Enough of the name dropping Sir! And from now on, I will create a buffer zone so that the fresh ones do not become cling-ons! In this economic downturn, they all want to get a piece of you and we did not foresee such casualties.

Mr. President: Very well. I need to meet up with the journalist to work on this special edition of my 5 years as President. I am already thinking about the answers for the ten questions for your State House newsletter. Man, the number 10 seems to be heavy on me. I feel like Moses carrying those tablets of the 10 commandments, even if I don’t believe in God! And we have not even gone past ten districts yet… OK, plug in Praslin for next week as I am popular there!

JenPa makes way for the team of Irish advisers who have called in to brief the President on the progress on the war on drugs and other security details. There has been a lot of mumblings as a result of the latest round of firing of key members in the force. Could it be that they have finally caught one of the Escobars?? JAM (the Irish wolfhound) stands to attention, sniffs the air and licks his master’s hand as he snatches a cookie… setting the tone for this high level security debrief. Ah, the Irish have settled in Seychelles, the President mumbles to himself… They are now sub-servient to us….much better than the Brits we kicked out many decades ago…

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Seychelles Column - Disaster at Cascade - By Christopher Gill

Cascade Shows Signs of Despair

As the Presidential show took to the Cascade District, another SPPF strong hold, Mr. President was hoping his Party faithful would be gentle and understanding and Koste blindly according to his rallying call to all Seychellois.

His wish was not granted. The Cascade meeting reminded me a little of the moment Cinderella discovered her fine jewelry laden coach carriage had turned back into a pumpkin. The dream had a bad awakening and she had to walk back all the way home, after a grand ball of good times.

When the meeting was over, Mr. President was clutching his MONT BLANC PEN upside down for the whole Nation to see. Then he dropped his pen and used his hands, to finish his defense rebuttals as he carefully called Meriton and Morgan to the front lines to defend him and his Government. Meriton sounded like he was giving a speech to volleyball players and Morgan read from notes apparently tied to his feet when answering questions concerning a mismanaged landfill cum health hazard for residents of Cascade. 

MNA De Commarmond From Cascade Speaks!

SPPF MNA for Cascade Charles Decommarmond gave an introduction speech that lasted about 15 minutes - this time no role playing so he felt a bit uncomfortable with all the sweat beads on his face.

In classic Charles (comedian) style, he highlighted in a subtle but piercing manner, shortcomings to the situation at hand. He said a single light has not been placed on the Cascade Bridge since being built, requests have been pending for years; residents still do not have adequate facilities for Youth and small businesses, housing constraints, issues concerning rise in crime, the list was endless.

MNA Decommarmond made a sincere appeal for competence and leadership within the Executive Branch of Government. At times, he sounded as if he was in Opposition to JJ Spirit. In what appeared to be an offer of pity for Michel, Decomarmond seemed to offer Cascade fishermen as volunteers to fight pirates. I find this request acceptable if Michel puts his Colonel bars on and leads the way. But he will not, so the fishermen can stay home and tend to their families.

The very fact that the questions of competence were posed indirectly, shows that the SPPF have a real problem at hand.

Michel has abandoned the Districts and opted for the politics of the jet set traveler. As he returns to the Districts, he finds, there are no lights, no this and no that. Even buses are in shortage to take our people to work, in spite of having over 285 buses.

As Seychellois become poorer and poorer under Michel, we must all start taking the bus. This fluctuation in demand for public transportation increases a burden on Government. Failure has a way of strangling itself.

Charles Decomarmond must be commended for standing up to Michel's antics in his own subtle, but sure way. Congratulations MNA De Comarmond,sometimes, a single light under a dark bridge, can make a big difference for everyone, you are so right on this one.

Mr. Walter Labrosse Calls For More Autonomy 

Seemingly frustrated over lack of action in his District, Mr. Walter Labrosse businessman and traditional party liner, respected in community, has called on the Michel administration to grant greater autonomy to the Cascade District, as promised, in order for the District to solve its own problems.

Michel early on five (5) years ago, immediately sent the District committees packing with their assessments and recommendations. Preferring total control to be able to take credit for everything that happens in all walks of life of this country, Districts were left to being buildings of wasted resources, which we badly need today, when Michel can no longer borrow money to run the Country.

For years now, State House and Government rarely consulted the Districts on numerous matters. Now this decision has come back to back bite Michel. Having more or less abandoned Districts and suspended capital projects throughout Seychelles, now SPPF must redefine the relationship of Executive Branch and District-MNA Branch. SPPF will watch Michel as he steps on his own foot once more (the Spirit Dance of 2009).

Michel's tongue was noticeably twisted as his brain ran amuck in confusion over the question posed by Mr. Labrosse. Mr. Labrosse works for a living and does not live off others for a living, so he waited patiently for an answer.  Maybe he can find his own answers at the ballot box in 2011.

Proper leadership defines a moment and period of difficulty, it does not get dragged by the ear over it. In a crisis, leaders must rise to the challenge and not be over run by the challenge. So get that light for the Cascade Bridge Michel, even if you use the whole JJ Spirit team to turn the light bulb in the right direction. While you are at it, have your SOS YouTube the turning on ceremony.

Pere LaFortune Gives Us A Real Lesson 

How can a District meeting be heard, without hearing out the Parish Priest? A very difficult task indeed.

Pere Lafortune had perhaps the longest winded question possible, which lasted at least 5 minutes, over crime and the case to stop "Escobars", from ruining our Country. When Pere Lafortune was finished, Michel's Mont Blanc had twisted and turned in his hand until it was upside down, then he simply dropped the pen as if it never belonged in his hand, as if to give up on answering a question, which should have been answered, everyday of his administration.  Atheist trembling or simple fear of God?

As the SOS went red in the background and girlie giggled as she saw her professional boy-friend President crack, the answer made its way out, although as lame as a duck out of water.

According to Michel, he is still working on the hunt for Escobars. But it takes time, and he needs to find their assets and seize those items. It has been five (5) years Mr. President, I do not suppose that you need five (5) more, do you? The assets of the Escobars seem to multiply overnight and at the rate that Michel is taking to track them down, he will be dealing with Medusa's heads all over our islands!

The issue of crime and robberies was also raised by other members of the audience. Michel had nowhere to hide as he felt powerless in not being able to protect his citizens (as per his commitment to the Constitution when he took his oath as President). Cascade is the best case in point as it has no Police Station since the last existing one was put to the ground more than 10 years ago! Cascade is not the only district without a police station to protect its district's citizens.

His team will have to do a better job at filtering the questions for the other district meetings. Crime is of prime importance today as this wave is hitting all and sundry - ironically it is the 'pti Seselwa' that is the most affected as the big shots are being guarded by the best security apparatus in the land.

As we are advised by Police to chain our bananas, Michel has no real answers, because his government has done no real work on Escobars, thieves and criminals that very likely are in his own Government as hinted by the good Pere Lafortune.

Yes there are a few Irish and a few dogs at the airport and yes you have a K-9 Squad, but that should have taken 5 months to set up not five (5) years dear Michel.

As the Drugs trafficking takes hold of our society, Cascade has sounded a desperate alarm for help. What are you going to propose Mr. President? Perhaps you need to clean up your State House security (like you did at the Central Police station) who have been implicated in the dirty gang warfare similar to Mexico and Columbia, where bodies have been found tied to engine blocks and floating in the sea or boats mysteriously exploding in the Ste. Anne marine park. The drug problem is now a dirty game that is filling the coffers (or accumulating assets) of a few big fish either in high positions within government or individuals enjoying the protection from very high up. We are still seeing those mysterious cargos addressed to big shots in the army or your very own government, the same one you keep touting every night as “Mon Gouvernement”.

So far, Michel has caused to be fired more Superintendents of the Police then he has caught Escobars. You would think he is targeting the wrong people again, based on Irishmen rumours.  And in fact, not a SINGLE Escobar has been caught under his Presidency.

The lesson of the Cascade meeting is revealing. A promise made to be competent and the best, is a promise even SPPF will hold you to, Mr. President. When you told us we were going to double our GDP in ten (10) years,and we would become rich, many people in Cascade wanted to believe you.

Now you tell them we are BANKRUPT, under REFORM, and the World Financial Crisis has slowed down our "aspirations", and "mechanisms", so what do you propose for us over the next ten (5) years when you will seek for another term (if you still have the courage to face this kind of tune), "doubling of our daily burden”?  Do you remember Rene’s “Ser Sang” slogan?  Well, the belt no longer fits as the people are hungry.

It does not look like the People of Cascade are willing to accept that to please you and allow you to get back to your jet set lifestyle that can be handled by a Minister of Foreign Affairs. In fact, why have a Minister at all if you want to do his job?

Many more residents of Cascade had much more to say, that was all valuable and revealing. I guess these poor residents will have the chance to decide at the ballot box in 2011 whether your lies are worth listening to.

But unfortunately, the whole exercise is showing only one thing: the only thing "Transparent" in Seychelles today, is the see through- Presidency, aside from that, People of Seychelles see no hope in Michel and JJ Spirit!  Emperor without any clothes come to mind!

Many still clap hands so they do not lose their jobs, their chance for a flat or piece of state land, or a homecarer.  How sad and how low can one go!

I ask the Minister of Social Affairs, if Mr. Michel applies for a job or homecarer assistance, to please do give him one or both, because in this condition as presented to us in Cascade, even the SOS will not be able to help him much.  By the way, is it not time to retire all these old Presidents that have been hanging around for nearly 35 years now?

May God Bless All Freedom Loving Seychellois and Our Beloved Seychelles!