Seychelles Comedy - State House Anytime Now

"Sheik Me Up & Down - We Are Booming Again!"

Things are heating up! We need to blow our vuvuzela as it is boom time again. The President has shifted into higher gear and taken his 4x4 VP on the campaign trail in the island of love. It’s time to do a little ‘Sheik rattle and roll’ as the gift list gets longer. Wow, thanks to a few pirates in a skiff, all eyes are glued to these speckles as India retakes its ocean to throw their hat into the ring. Suddenly, Seychelles has a mighty navy and we need more expatriate workers to cope with the workload...

BAWI: Hello Bwana boss! You seem to be coping with this punishing schedule with great zest. My bro and Lizzy are here for a de-brief. Between the high powered conferences, ministerial & dignitaries’ visits, Praslin jaunt, cocktails etc...you have not had any shut eye lately.

Lizzy: Hello my sweet pea! Wow you seem to have a collection of these chequered shirts and it makes you look so dignified. Hope you liked my jet blue blouse that I wore last weekend to Praslin. So what shall I get you? Tea, coffee or me?!!

Mr. President: Oh my honey bee! Enough of these temptress overtures. I got a serious bollocking over our escapade and I totally forgot that it was from this isle of love cradle that I snatched the doll. I am trying to parley but there is no easy way out. She insists on staying put. Well, I think that I will have to juggle more balls than I expected. I always thought that status and a few luxuries would pacify them quietly...

BAWI: Hell no Sir. Marital bliss is hard to come by when you are in the midst of so many shexy specimens. Temptation is a sin best absolved over a chilled glass of bubbly. I note that Nat was tugging at your coattails at the Bastille Day cocktail. I’m glad we did not have any catfights on our hands...

Lizzy: Grrrrrrr.... At least I can purr a lot when the going gets tough.

Danny Boy walks in looking serious and business-like, cradling his bulging Filofax diary...

Mr. President: Here comes my new full of beans Vice. I am glad that you also had your muse in tow on our trip, good cover-up. It shows that we are cut from the same cloth. The campaign is now in full swing and I am lucky that I have my sleek 4x4 by my side to drive through these difficult terrains. My folks just love me there. The campaign is in full swing my boys.

BAWI: Sir, Srdjie got the best spin from the media. She not only laid down the full interview on TV but also got a centre spread in the daily. This office is in full control and the message is finally sinking home. This new JD Spirit has weaved its magic spell in no time and the land that you conquered more than 15 years ago will bow to your legacy. If you are not remembered on a national level, at least Republic of Praslin will make you their Sheik.

Mr. President: Indeed, Praslin is a model for all other islands to follow. But we need to smoke out those Escobars. It is time to harass those traffickers who are tarnishing this island in full bloom. I am sure the new radars that JoMo plans to install will do the trick. So main man Dani B, give me a rundown of your notes gathering...

DANI: Well Mr. President, the island is a true microcosm of the success of our economic reforms. Things are booming in all directions. We are creaming it on the tourism front. The small entrepreneurs are minting it. Our people have taken over the business community. All businesses are behind us 100%. We sympathized with the children over their ordeals and reassured the sick that we will take better care of them. Ernie feels that we need this dialysis machine ASAP and perhaps we can add this to our shopping list to the Sheik. But there are a few other things that need to be addressed presto!

Mr. President: Indeed everything is mushrooming all over. The bulk of the outstanding tasks are under JoMo’s portfolio. He has so much on his plate poor chap. Bawi B, place a call to his mobile and we will update him on the chores at hand.

JoMo is a live wire as he comes on line on the speakerphone.

Mr. President: A very good morning to you JoMo. Working overtime on the international front does not seem to sap your energy. You are a man of many talents popping up everywhere. We have a few assignments for you on Praslin and Dani B will update you.

DANI: Hey main man! Congrats on your piracy show of force. This Franco-British tandem between you and JP earned us a lot of praise worldwide. There is an outpouring of aid from far and wide. The new coastguard base is the fruit of some serious labour by the boss. You did well to put on the display of walkie-talkies from India, you are indeed a techie! Shame that we could not get the Cheetak and Dornier on time. We could have landed them in the State House grounds to show them off. Anyhow, fabulous piece of work young chap.

JoMo: No probs Bwana Dani! I am the faithful servant till death do us part! I am a multi-tasker and can cope with anything that is thrown my way. I love this gratifying sense of accomplishment and achievement. We are playing an avant-garde role on all the battle fronts.

DANI: That’s the spirit bro! There are some multi tasks to attend to urgently on Praslin. Elections are a few months away and they need to be fixed presto. The issues range from environment problems, drainage, agriculture, drugs, roads, water, transport, police etc...

JoMo: They will be tackled in no time. I have inserted the tasks in my i-phone and consider it done! Will probably recruit a few more Gurkhas to assist. Need to run as SBC is here for another interview. Good day to you all…

BAWI: This is a man of many talents. He is like a superman in a wind tunnel. Sleeker than the average! You can always count in him to deliver.

Mr. President: We are sheiking everything down to the ground folks. We are now down to ground zero with a new coastguard base. We got our priorities wrong since day one of the revolution. An army is redundant in this day and age of modern piracy. Thanks to my close affiliation with His Highness, we can thank our stars that we have such a humble and filthy rich friend in our midst.

JenPa walks in unannounced to fill the President in on the diplomatic bustle

JenPa: Hello there! I see we are in good company. The 4x4 traction in full swing early morning! Keep it up boys. The boss needs to be well surrounded and he performs best when in the midst of Brainiac 4.

BAWI: Hi JP! You sit on the Air Seychelles board so you need to speak to David about the high airfare to Praslin which is killing the tourism industry there. The President got too many complaints on this issue. This is why he opted to fly on the ZilAir helicopter and IDC plane on this trip. It works out much cheaper than those old twin otters that keep breaking down.

Mr. President: Great to see you JP. You are sorely missed at this abode. But life goes on. It’s time for you to perform on your own. Put your swimming techniques into gear and smash some records my boy.

JenPa: Errmm…this comes as second nature boss. I now have the most experienced PS by my side so we cannot go wrong. What a career civil servant. Errmm…he is now into the role of Captain Hook on his mission to contain piracy on the diplomatic level. Congratulations on the masterstroke with the coastguard base. You did tell me that the little detour to Abu Dhabi would pull off another surprise. Errmm… it represents your excellent relationship based on trust and sincerity. Now ASCON will be able to register as a local company and snatch all these building contracts.

Mr. President: Brilliant. Boom times ahead folks. We are on a high and need to maintain the momentum until the elections. Dani B and I had a major summit with Per Fondater at Meson on Monday and we need to go on the offensive. ‘Sesel Pou Seselwa’ is back to haunt us. Gappy is holding registration-certification of MSR and this is a hot potato indeed. We thought we had mollified Wavel & Co but now he is being pressured to unite the opposition. We need to hit the ground running.

The dream team is into combat mode and will annihilate any ghosts that threaten to unseat this JD Spirit. Dani B is in his element as he can put all his Castroism to good effect. He has now taken on a new mission of shaking the hands of retired civil servants till their arms fall off... He has a following of militants who are ready for warfare, headed by Gus the undeniable king of Face. With over 10,000 friends between the Prez, JP and himself, they are not battle shy. So bring it on!!